The Lonely Guy (1984)

Julie Payne: Rental Agent

Quotes 

• Larry Hubbard : Want to go out some time?

  Rental Agent : I'm a man.

• Rental Agent : All right, fine, but before you can sign the lease, there are a few questions I'd like to ask.

  Larry : Well, what?

  Rental Agent : Do you have any dogs, cats, children, or relations or friends of ethnic extraction? Do you ever wear loud sports jackets? Do you ever get personal phone calls after midnight? Do you go to discos or have dinner with people who want to be in show business? Do you ever put disgusting substances up your nose or any other open bodily passage? Do you own any records or albums featuring the Rolling Stones? Is there anyone in your personal acquaintance who has now or ever had a sexually communicable infectious disease?

  Larry : No dogs, no cats, no children, no foreign friends or relations. No loud jackets. No late phone calls, no show business dinners, no disgusting substances in bodily orifices. No Rolling Stones albums. No acquaintances with sexually communicable infectious diseases; except my Uncle Harry who once developed a rash after an affair with a waitress at the World of Pancakes - but he covered it with a tattoo of a Chinese dragon so nobody would notice.

  Rental Agent : Thank you very much. That seems all satisfactory. I'll have the lease made out immediately. You can move in the day after tomorrow. I think you'll fit in here very well.