Killer Santa: 31 bucks. Merry fucking Christmas.

Officer Miller: Can you believe this? It's Christmas Eve and we got orders to bring in Santa Claus.

[repeated line]

Billy Chapman: PUNISH!

Mother Superior: They thought they could do it without being caught. But when we do something naughty, we are always caught. Then, we are punished. Punishment is absolute, punishment is good.

Billy Chapman: Yes, Mother Superior.

Mother Superior: You left your room, William.

Billy Chapman: Yes, Mother Superior.

Mother Superior: Very, very naughty!

Andy: [Andy sees Billy staring while standing at the stockroom door] Just what the fuck you think you are doing now?

Billy Chapman: I... You shouldn't... You shouldn't talk like that.

Andy: Well, excuse me, Ann Landers. You know, what is it with you lately, Billy?

Billy Chapman: Nothing.

Andy: I'm going to level with you. When you came here a couple of months ago, you were an allright kid. But all the sudden, you got this fucking attitude problem. Snapping at me all the time. You're staring off into space like some moon goon.

Billy Chapman: Look, will you just... just leave me alone, All right?

Andy: When I leave you alone, asshole, none of your fucking work gets done.

Billy Chapman: Look, I don't care about my fucking work.

Andy: Oh, is that so, wiseass?

Billy Chapman: Look, just leave me alone.

Ira Sims: [at closing time] Seven o'clock... it's over! Time to get shit-faced!

Killer Santa: Where are ya, ya little bastard!

Billy Chapman: Mommy, you shouldn't have said that. It's naughty to say bad things about old people. Santa Claus will punish you!

Andy: So, what the fuck are you doing now?

Billy Chapman: You know, you shouldn't talk like that.

Andy: Oh? Well pardon me, Ann Landers!

Jim Chapman: Need a ride, Santa Claus?

Killer Santa: Oh, no, not exactly.

Jim Chapman: What's the problem?

Killer Santa: Oh, there's no problem. It's just that I've run into a bit of lolly luck.

Denise: Cindy if, uh, you don't go back to bed... Santa won't come.

Tommy: [wanting to have sex with Denise] He's not the only one.

Tommy: [looking for Denise, unaware she has just been murdered] If this is some kind of joke, I'm gonna kill her.

[Tommy looks behind him to find Denise's dead body]

Grandpa: You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy, you better run for ya life!

Grandpa: Santy Claus only brings presents to them that's been good all year. All the other ones, all the naughty ones, he punishes! What about you, boy? You been good all year?

Ellie Chapman: Billy, calm down. Grandpa's nothing but a crazy old fool!

Mr. Levitt: [a man in a Santa Claus suit walks into a convenient store] And a "Ho Ho Ho", I don't get enough of this shit on the radio, it has to come into my store now, ha hah ha.

Killer Santa: What's the matter, you don't like Santa Claus?

Mr. Levitt: Well, it's good for business, bad for my stomach. It's a lot of phony sentiment, you know what I am saying. What charity are you with?

Mr. Levitt: [Killer Santa pulles out a gun] What are you doing that for?

Killer Santa: I'm holding you up,asshole, put the money in the bag.

Mr. Levitt: So it's not about phony sentiment, lot of it is genuine greed.

[Mr. Levitt grabs his gun]

Mr. Levitt: ALL RIGHT YOU!

[Killer Santa shoots Mr. Levitt in the gut, Mr. Levitt,wounded,tries to shoot the robber.Killer Santa shoots him in the stomach and then the head]

Killer Santa: [Killer Santa walks out of the store, sees how much money he has, he says] "31 bucks, Merry Fucking Christmas!"

Grandpa: You scared, ain't ya? You should be! Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year!