Eddie: You know, it's funny... you come to someplace new, an'... and everything looks just the same.

Willie: No kiddin', Eddie.

Eva: It's Screamin' Jay Hawkins, and he's a wild man, so bug off.

Willie: You're sure you don't want a TV dinner?

Eva: Yes. I'm not hungry. Why is it called TV dinner?

Willie: Um... You're supposed to eat it while you watch TV. Television.

Eva: I know what a TV is. Where does that meat come from?

Willie: What do you mean?

Eva: What does that meat come from?

Willie: I guess it comes from a cow.

Eva: From a cow? It doesn't even look like meat.

Willie: Eva, stop bugging me, will you? You know, this is the way we eat in America. I got my meat, I got my potatoes, I got my vegetables, I got my dessert, and I don't even have to wash the dishes.

Willie: Here, let me tell you a joke, all right? There's three guys, and they're walking down the street. One guy says to the other one, "Hey, your shoe's untied." He says, "I know that." And they walk... No... There's two guys, they're walking down the street, and one of them says to the other one, "Your shoe's untied." And the other guy says, "I know that." And they walk a couple blocks further, and they see a third friend, and he comes up and says, "Your shoe's untied." "Your shoe's un - " Aaah, I can't remember this joke. But it's good.

Eva: I'm going to Cleveland in about a week.

Eddie: Cleveland, beautiful city. It's got a big, beautiful lake. You will love it there.

Eva: Have you been there?

Eddie: No, no.

Eva: I'm choking the alligator.

Aunt Lotte: I am the vinner.

Aunt Lotte: You son of a beeetch.

Eddie: You know, last year before I met your cousin, I never know you were from Hungary or Budapest or any of those places.

Willie: So what?

Eddie: I thought you were an American.

Willie: Hey, I'm as American as you are.

[Silence. They begin driving into Cleveland]

Eddie: Does Cleveland look a little like, uh, Budapest?

Willie: Eddie, shut up.

[last lines]

Eddie: [watches plane take off] Aw, Willie. I had a bad feeling. Damn. What the hell are you gonna do in Budapest?

Eva: [She's pulled out an old vacuum cleaner from under the bed] Willie, can you help me change the bag? It looks full.

Willie: I'm sure it's fine. It hasn't been used in years.

Eva: It looks dirty.

Willie: Eva.

Eva: Are you sure?

Willie: You know, you don't say... Like, it's really too formal to say... "I want to vacuum the floor. I want to use the vacuum cleaner."

Eva: Oh. What do you say?

Willie: Well, you say, um, "I want to choke the alligator." So if somebody comes in here, you know, you say, "I'm choking an alligator."

Eva: Okay. I am choking the alligator right now.

Willie: I got something for you.

Eva: What is it?

Willie: It's a present.

Eva: Thanks. What is it? It's a dress?

Willie: Yeah.

Eva: Oh. Thank you.

[she looks at the dress]

Eva: I think it's kind of ugly. Don't you?

Willie: No. I bought it. Why don't you try it on?

Eva: I don't really wear this style.

Willie: You know, when you come here, you should dress like people dress here.

Eva: I'll try it on... later.

[she tosses it aside]

[first lines]

Willie: Yeah.

Aunt Lotte: [speaks indistinctly in Hungarian]

Willie: Oh, hello, Aunt Lotte.

Aunt Lotte: [replies indistinctly in Hungarian throughout conversation]

Willie: Don't speak to me in Hungarian, please. No, I haven't heard from him, not for ten years. Yeah, I got your letter. Speak English, please! Yeah, my little cousin Eva. Yeah, I know, she's come - coming here and she's gonna stay overnight, when's she coming? Today? Straight from Budapest today? Ah, no. No, I never agreed to that. I can't possibly babysit for her for ten days. No, look, it's disrupting my whole life. I don't even consider myself a part of the family, do you understand? Nah, I'm sorry you have to go into the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. OK, bye bye.

Willie: [hangs up phone] Damn. Ship-uh.

[Eva is packing her luggage as she prepares to leave New York]

Willie: Hey, leave me some Chesterfields.

Eva: Can I get them in Cleveland?

Willie: Yeah, yeah, you can get 'em in Cleveland.

Eva: They taste good there, like here?

Willie: It's the same Chesterfields.

Eva: Yeah?

Willie: All over America. Yeah.

Willie: Man, what are we doing here?

Eddie: I don't know.

Willie: [watching pro football game on TV] You see, you see the guy that's got the ball? That's the quarterback. He can either hand off to one of the runners or he can pass it down field He's kinda like, he's the - he's like the, eh, General, you know. He's sorta like he's in charge the offense. The quarterback is in charge of the whole offense.

Eva: So, what does the quarterback do when he becomes the defense?

Willie: What?

Eva: What does the quarterback do when his team becomes the defense?

Willie: Quar - the quar - the quarterback's not on the defense, they already have - I - I - I don't know how to explain this to you. Just watch the game.

Eva: I think this game is really stupid.

Willie: [In the car with Eddie: Willie hails a random stranger standing on the sidewalk] Excuse me... Sir? Sir!

Factory Worker: [annoyed] What do you want?

Willie: Could you come over here a minute?

Factory Worker: I'm just waiting for the bus.

Willie: I want to ask you directions.

Factory Worker: What?

Willie: Just come here, so I don't have to yell. Can you tell me which way is Cleveland?

Factory Worker: Give me a break, man. I'm just going to work.

Willie: Where do you work?

Factory Worker: In a factory.

Willie: [Turns to Eddie] Let's go.

Eddie: [they drive off] I don't know, Willie... Ah, the poor guy. God! You shouldn't have given him such a hard time. Can you imagine working in a factory?

Willie: No, I can't. Now I feel bad.

Eddie: Nah, don't feel bad.

Willie: How much money we got left?

Eddie: We got a lot.

Willie: Count it.

Eddie: Hey, Willie, why are you always telling me what to do?

Willie: Seems like if I don't tell you what to do, you don't do anything at all.

Willie: You ever been to Florida?

Eddie: Florida? Yeah, it's beautiful down there.

Willie: Uh-huh.

Eddie: You know, white beaches, and girls with bikinis...

Willie: Yeah.

Eddie: Cape Canaveral, Miami Beach...

Willie: Cape Canaveral! Miami Beach! That's right.

Eddie: They got pelicans down there, and flamingos... all those weird birds.

Willie: You been there?

Eddie: Nah, I never been there.

Willie: You're a jerk, Eddie. You know that?... Nah, come on. What do you say we go down to Florida?

Eddie: Yeah?

Willie: Who rang?

Eva: Yes, the telephone rang.

Willie: I mean who was on the phone?

Eva: Core Guy. He said his name was Core Guy.

Willie: What?

Eva: He says his name was Core Guy.

Willie: I don't know anybody named Core Guy?

Eva: That's what he said his name was.

Willie: Don't answer my fuckin' phone! All right? - - Core Guy?

Willie: Eva, going out?

Eva: Yeah.

Willie: Look, Clinton Street is two blocks south of here. I wouldn't go any further south than Clinton Street.

Eva: Why?

Willie: It's really dangerous there.

Eva: I can take care of myself.

Willie: Man, listen, you come, you don't know what's going on this city. You've never been here before. You come and stay in my apartment and I don't even want you here! It's just like, "Yeeeah, I know what's going on." You think you're so 'know-the-fuck-together!'

Eva: I'm going alone.

Willie: Aw, go alone.

Eva: This dress bugs me.

Willie: How much money we got?

Eddie: I don't know. We got a lot.

Willie: How much is a lot, Eddie?

Eddie: We got a lot. We got almost six hundred dollars!

Willie: You're alright, Eddie. You know.

Eddie: We're a coupla rich men now.

Eddie: [watching TV at Aunt Lotte's] You know, now that we're in Cleveland, Willie, why don't we go see the Cavaliers?

Willie: Oh, they have a terrible team.

Eddie: Well, so what?

Willie: They're like 0 and 48 or something like that.

Eddie: Yeah; but, we're not doin' anything! Well, what do you want to do?

Willie: I don't know.

Aunt Lotte: I vin every time.

Eva: It was really nice of you guys to come all the way here to see me, you know.

Eddie: It was nice of you to be here!

Willie: Eddie. Oh, we just, you know, we thought we'd come out and see how you were doing.

Eva: It's kind of a drag here, really.

Willie: [Eva turns on her cassette player] Not that!

Eva: It's Screaming Jack.

Willie: Oh, that's awful.

Eva: You're the same. He's my main man!

Aunt Lotte: Goot for na-thing!

Eva: I thought we were going to Miami! This is nowhere.

Willie: I told you horses, not dogs. You don't ever listen to me, right?

Eddie: Horses! Horses! Definitely, horses!

[repeated lines]

Eddie: Where did she get all that money?

Billy: Hey, said you'd go to the movies with me the other night. Do you want to see "Space Wizards" or that foreign flick down at the Olympia - "Days Without Sun"? Do you want to see that?

Eva: I don't know. Isn't there a kung fu movie?

[repeated line]

Eddie: I told you she'd remember me!

Billy: [after the kung fu movie] Well, thanks for the ride fellas.

Eddie: Hey, thanks for paying for us too, Billy.

Billy: Okay. Eva, do you want to walk me to my door?

Eva: Okay. I'll be right back.

Willie: Hey, what are you doin' here?

Eddie: I don't know.

Eva: Well, this is it. Lake Erie.

Eddie: Man, look at all this snow! Man, it's - it's beautiful.

Eva: It's not always frozen.

Eva: So, if you guys win a lot of money on the race tracks, you should come and try to kidnap me.

Willie: We'll take you some place warm. This place is awful!

Eva: God, I'm so glad! Thank you guys for rescuing me. I can't believe we are going to Florida.

Eddie: Well, did you bring your little bikini along?

Eva: Sure! There are alligators in Florida, right?

Eddie: Eva, I want you to stay down until the motel guy comes out and goes back in his office.

Eva: Why?

Eddie: I don't - why pay for three people. It's fine.

Eva: I thought you guys said you were rich!

Eddie: Shh! Get down. Get down.

Willie: Did you finish the peanuts?

Eddie: Yeah!

Willie: Then what'd you pack 'em for?

Eddie: That water smells - funny!

Eva: What are we going to do now?

Man with Money: Where da fuck you been at, man? Where you been at, babe? Shit, man, yo, man, you free, right? You got the hat on, man. I see the donkeys on your top, man. Listen, you suppose to take this shit and you make me miss my muthafuckin' sniff, man. Here, take dis shit, man. You tell Romero, that I ain't down with this no more. You cool? You clean? Then you go. Goodbye. Peace!

Eddie: Is this Eva's hat? It looks like Eva's hat. Where'd she get that hat?

Willie: You got all the money?

Eddie: Yeah, I got everything. Take the bottle.

Willie: Don't you want your peanuts?

Eddie: Why should I want the peanuts? There's nothin' in there.

Airline Agent: Yes, there is one remaining flight to Europe, today. It leaves in about 45 minutes. You have plenty of time to board. It's a flight to Eastern Europe. To Budapest.

Eva: To Budapest? Does it fly from here to Budapest?

Airline Agent: Yes, there is.

Eva: That's the only flight to Europe you have?

Airline Agent: It's the only flight we have today.