Girls on Top (1985–1986)

Ruby Wax: Shelley

Quotes 

• Shelley DuPont : Well, do you know what I think she does for a living? It rhymes with "for." And it rhymes with "phostitute"!

• Shelley : Do you know how hard it is trying to break into show business?

  Candice : Oh, Shell...

  Shelley : Lana Turner didn't make it until after she died!

• [On the phone.] 

  Shelley : Listen, Daddy, gotta go and hunt through some garbage cans for tonight's dinner. So remember, if my financial situation doesn't perk up, and fast, I'm gonna tell Mommy what you do with her pantyhose, okay?

• Shelley DuPont : [after Candice has substituted floor polish for bikini wax, burning Shelley's "nethers"]  Oh, my God, my frou-frou's on fire!

• Amanda : Oh my God, look at her pupils! Are you stoned?

  Shelley : It's Jennifer, how can you tell?

• Amanda : It's twelve o'clock. She's an hour late.

  Shelley : My caviar has hatched!

• Shelley : I need 3,000 pounds just for my BMW repairs. Do you know how much it costs to scrape people off your headlights?

• Shelley DuPont : That is just about *this* interesting.

• Shelley DuPont : [reacting to two black male houseguests]  All right, this is a raid! Listen, two of you guys in one room, to me, spells riot. I know what's going on. I've seen West Side Story.

  Candice : Shell, where's your little white hooded robe with the slits and your burnin' cross, babe?