The Breakfast Club (1985)

Paul Gleason: Richard Vernon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richard Vernon : You're not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out will be you.

  John Bender : Eat my shorts.

  Richard Vernon : What was that?

  John Bender : Eat... my... shorts.

  Richard Vernon : You just bought yourself another Saturday.

  John Bender : Ooh, I'm crushed.

  Richard Vernon : You just bought one more.

  John Bender : Well I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.

  Richard Vernon : Good, cause it's going to be filled. We'll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word say it. Instead of going to prison you'll come here. Are you through?

  John Bender : No.

  Richard Vernon : I'm doing society a favor.

  John Bender : So?

  Richard Vernon : That's another one right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step. You want another one?

  John Bender : Yes.

  Richard Vernon : You got it! You got another one right there! That's another one pal!

  Claire Standish : Cut it out!

  Richard Vernon : You through?

  John Bender : Not even close bud!

  Richard Vernon : Good! You got one more right there!

  John Bender : You really think I give a shit?

  Richard Vernon : Another! You through?

  John Bender : How many is that?

  Brian Johnson : That's seven including when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.

  Richard Vernon : Now it's eight. You stay out of this.

  Brian Johnson : Excuse me sir, it's seven.

  Richard Vernon : Shut up, peewee.

• Richard Vernon : What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire?

  John Bender : [truthfully]  Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

• John Bender : [crawling above the ceiling]  A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. The bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." Naked lady says...

  [the ceiling breaks, and he falls through] 

  John Bender : Oh, *shit*!

  Richard Vernon : [hearing the crash from his office]  Jesus Christ Almighty!

  [John sees Andrew and Claire angrily stunned] 

  John Bender : [to the other students]  Forgot my pencil.

  Richard Vernon : [enters the library]  Goddamn it! What in God's name is going on in here? What was that ruckus?

  Andrew Clark : Uh, what ruckus?

  Richard Vernon : I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.

  Brian Johnson : Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

  Richard Vernon : Watch your tongue, young man, watch it.

• [Vernon catches Bender playing basketball in the gym] 

  John Bender : Don't you want to hear my excuse?

  Richard Vernon : Out.

  John Bender : I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.

• Richard Vernon : You think about this: when you get old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country.

  Carl : Yeah.

  Richard Vernon : Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me.

  Carl : I wouldn't count on it.

• Richard Vernon : You know somethin', Bender? You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off. All right, that's it! I'm going to be right outside those doors. The next time I have to come in here, I'm crackin' skulls.

• Richard Vernon : [Andrew laughs at Bender's backtalk]  You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's "bitchin," is that it? Let me tell you something. Look at him - he's a bum. You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is.

• Richard Vernon : That's the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place and they've forgotten all about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.

  Bender : You threatening me?

  Richard Vernon : What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone is gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of shit and everybody knows it. Oh, you're a tough guy. Hey c'mon. Get on your feet pal. Let's find out how tough you are. I wanna know right now how tough you are.

  [offers Bender his chin] 

  Richard Vernon : Just take the first shot. I'm begging you, take a shot. Just one hit. Come on, that's all I need, just one swing...

  [Bender pauses, staring] 

  Richard Vernon : That's what I thought. You're a gutless turd.

• Claire Standish : He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.

  John Bender : Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?

  Claire Standish : GO TO HELL!

  Andrew Clark : ENOUGH!

  Richard Vernon : [from his office]  Hey! What's going on in there? Spoiled little pricks.

• Richard Vernon : Well, well. Here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.

  Claire Standish : Excuse me, sir. I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but I don't think I belong in here.

  [Vernon ignores her and looks at his watch] 

  Richard Vernon : It is now 7:06. You have exactly 8 hours and 54 minutes to think about *why* you are here, to ponder the error of your ways.

  [Bender spits out a wad of saliva in the air and catches with his mouth, prompting Claire to almost exclaim in disgust, but Vernon stops her by pointing] 

  Richard Vernon : You may not talk.

  [Brian tries to move to the chair next to him on the table] 

  Richard Vernon : You will not move - from these seats.

  [to Bender, who is relaxing his feet on a chair, but Vernon pulls it out from under Bender's feet] 

  Richard Vernon : And *you* - will not sleep. Alright, people, we're going to try something a little different, today. We are going to write an essay - of no less than a thousand words, describing to me who you think you are.

  [starts handing out sheets of paper] 

  John Bender : Is this a test?

  Richard Vernon : And when I say 'essay' I mean *'essay'*. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Mr. Bender?

  Richard Vernon : Crystal.

  Richard Vernon : Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even decide, whether or not, you'd care to return.

  Brian Johnson : Uh, you know, I can answer that right now, sir. That'd be no. No from me, 'cause...

  Richard Vernon : [contemptuously]  Sit down, Johnson.

  Brian Johnson : Thank you, sir.

  Richard Vernon : My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?

  John Bender : Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

  Richard Vernon : I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull, young man, you'll get the horns.

  [exits the library] 

  John Bender : That man - is a brownie-hound.

  [after he and the other students see and hear Allison biting her fingernails] 

  John Bender : If you keep eating your hand, you're not gonna be hungry for lunch.

  [Allison bites another fingernail, and spits it out] 

  John Bender : I've seen you before, you know.

• Richard Vernon : [to Bender, warningly]  Don't mess with the bull, young man, you'll get the horns.

• Richard Vernon : What did you wanna be when you were young?

  Carl : When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.

  Richard Vernon : Carl, don't be a goof. I'm making a serious point here.

• Principal Richard Vernon : The next time I have to come in here I'm crackin' skulls.

• Richard Vernon : Why is that door closed? WHY IS THAT DOOR CLOSED?

• Principal Richard Vernon : Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.

• Richard Vernon : Carl, I've been teaching for 22 years. And each year, these kids get more and more arrogant.

  Carl : Aw, bullshit, man. Come on, Vern. The kids haven't changed. You have. You took a teaching position because you thought it'd be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off. And then you found out it was actually work. That really bummed you out.

  Richard Vernon : These kids turned on me. They think I'm a big fucking joke.

• Richard Vernon : [enters the library before lunchtime]  All right, girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch.

  Andrew Clark : Here?

  Richard Vernon : Here.

  Andrew Clark : Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir.

  Richard Vernon : [irritably]  Well, I don't really care what you think, Andrew.

  John Bender : [raises his hand]  Dick, uh, excuse me. Rich, will milk be made available to us?

  Claire Standish : [to Vernon]  I have a low tolerance for dehydration.

  Andrew Clark : I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.

  John Bender : Relax, I'll get it.

  Richard Vernon : [stops him]  Ah-ah-ah! Grab some wood, there, bub. What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?

  [points to Andrew] 

  Richard Vernon : You

  [Andrew willingly points to Claire, but Vernon points to a spaced-out Allison] 

  Richard Vernon : and you. Hey!

  [snaps fingers and turns to the others] 

  Richard Vernon : What's her name? Wake her up. Wake her up. Hey, come on, missy, on your feet, let's go! This is no rest home.

  [Allison stares strangely at Vernon as she stands up] 

  Richard Vernon : There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!

  [the rest of the kids take their time giving Andrew and Allison change] 

  Richard Vernon : Come on, shake your tail feather, let's go, ante up! Some people don't even get a lunch hour. Come on, get a move on!

  Claire Standish : [takes out a $20 bill]  Excuse me, sir, can you break this?

  [Vernon scoffs sarcastically]