- Reinhard Heydrich: Tell me, Hoffmann, have you been doing anything reprehensible lately?
- Helmutt Hoffmann: Not that I'm aware of.
- Reinhard Heydrich: Well, if you had, you certainly would be aware of it, wouldn't you?
- Karl Hoffmann: You can probably remember when Bismark was Chancellor!
- Uncle Walter: That's right, I can. And we didn't have songs to honor pimps then, either.
- Karl Hoffmann: The "Horst Wessel"? What are you talking about, Horst Wessel was killed in a fight with the Communists back in '30.
- Uncle Walter: I don't care if he was killed by a troupe of performing monkeys. He was still a pimp then, all the same!
- Karl Hoffmann: Just think if we were asked to observe a minute of silence for all the people we've slaughtered and all the people our friends in the SS have slaughtered. Why, we'd be spending the rest of our lives in total silence!
- Putzi: [1939, in a bar full of Nazi's and German soldiers] We hoped you enjoyed our entertainment ladies and gentlemen, that's all we have for you tonight... oh... one thing I almost forgot, someone asked me a request. Would I sing the Polish national anthem... anyone know it? You know it? Well, no matter. It'll be obsolete by Christmas anyway, like the Jews.