Kate: I need bread.
Kate: I don't have enough bread. Run over to Greenblatt's and get me a fresh rye bread.
Eugene: Again? I just came back from Grennblatt's.
Kate: So You'll go again.
Eugene: I'm always going to the store. When I grow up, that's all I'll be trained to do, go to the store.
Kate: You don't want to go?... Never mind, I'll go.
Eugene: Don't do that! Don't make me feel guilty. I'll go.
Kate: And get a quarter of a pound of butter.
Eugene: I bought a quarter pound of butter this morning. Why don't you buy a half pound at a time?
Kate: And suppose the house burned down this afternoon? Why do I need an extra quarter pound of butter?
Eugene: [to the audience] If my mom taught logic in high school, this would be some weird country.
[while watching his neighbor undress, Eugene notices a boy from the building across holding binoculars]
Eugene: That dirty little pig! He's watching Nora getting undressed... I wonder if he'd let me come over.
Eugene: What if they took a shower together - Aunt Blanche and Nora? If I could walk in and see that I'd thank God and become a rabbi.
[Eugene is explaining his intense desire to play for the Yankees]
Eugene: I'll never make it with the Yankees. All the great Yankees are Italian. My mother makes spaghetti with ketchup - what chance do I have?
Eugene: It was a tense moment for everybody. I love tense moments. Especially when I'm not the one they're all tense about.
[Eugene has just seen his first picture of a nude woman]
Eugene: I have seen the Golden Palace of the Himalayas. Puberty is over! Onward and upward!
Eugene: Liver and cabbage - the Jewish mediaeval torture! My friend Marty Gregori, an A student in Science, told me that cooked cabbage can be smelled farther than sound travelling for seven minutes.
Eugene: [the saga of the liver and cabbage continues] The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife... which is more than I can say for the liver.
Eugene: I wanted to cut my wrists but the liver had worn down the knives.
Eugene: She saw me on the crapper! Nora saw me on the crapper! I might as well be dead!