Silly spoof of rubber suit monster movies has a newspaper columnist(for the obituary page)getting a scoop which could make his career regarding a creature which has been using closets to snatch it's victims, a body count starting to emerge.
Richard Clark(Donald Grant possibly designed after Clark Kent)finally is "rewarded" a job to cover a series of bizarre "closet murders" where, it seems, a monster is actually attacking people in their houses, leaving behind strange marks on their necks. Professor Diane Bennett(Denise DuBarry)believes, along with scientist Dr. Pennyworth(Henry Gibson costumed as an Alfred Einstein look-a-like), that there's something seriously sinister that should be studied and learned from while the sheriff, Sam Ketchem(Claude Akins; whose dip-chewing is played for laughs)considers only to stop it from hurting anyone else. When attempts to kill the monster fail, the military are called in, General Turnbull(Donald Moffat; playing him stubborn, profane, and stiff-necked)in charge of killing it. When all the arsenal of the army do little to stop the creature, it's up to science to discover a means to somehow end it's reign of terror. A specific tune and electrical power might can contribute to the monster's demise, but Diane could have another idea..what about the monster's refuge, the closets of the world?
The monster is a grotesque rubber creation which slightly resembles Geiger's xenomorph alien in that a second face is inside it's mouth, popping out every once in a while to screech when Pennyworth plays a tune on his xylophone. I think the film is more effective when we just see it's sharp-claw hands bursting through closet doors, but most viewers want to see the monster terrorizing citizens. An odd recurrence has Diane spellbound into a trance when Clark's glasses are removed. Early child performance for FAST AND THE FURIOUS' Paul Walker as Diane's geeky son. Paul Dooley and Stella Stevens(in a shower, a tribute to PSYCHO)have cameos as a married couple who could become potential victims, as does John Carradine as a blind man with a cane who loses his trained dog(and then himself)when stumbling into the closet. A common occurrence at the beginning has victims pulled into the closet, the camera panning around to only show clothes flying out with the door blocking the violence, the monster's guttural growl on the soundtrack relating to us it's terrible deeds.
Without some minor Stella Stevens cleavage and Moffat's excessive profanity, MONSTER IN THE CLOSET would be harmless family fun. Such a loving spoof even includes the classic line, "It was beauty that killed the beast." Also features Frank Ashmore as Clark's newspaper rival, Scoop, whose reputation at getting the best articles and stories can be more than a bit intimidating, and Howard Duff as Diane's friend, Father Finnegan(always seeking the Lord's guidance when the monster strikes).
