Julian Day: [Whitley and Julian are breaking up in an Italian restaurant] Waiter, check please.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Yes, la cuenta and *fast*!

Julian Day: It's "il conto".

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Oh, cuenta, conto, Kunta Kinte, just get the ding-dang check!

Shazza Zulu: Look, if we as Hillman men don't treat our women right, they'll go to somebody white. Kim Reese did!

Kim Reese: You pseudo-intellectual male with a pseudo-African name spouting pseudo-philosophy about a whole bunch of nothing! In fact, the only thing about you that's real are your green eyes... MY BRUTHA!

[the class has decided to leave a time capsule to be remembered by]

African Student: Excuse me, please, but what is a time capsule?

Kim Reese: A time capsule is when people bury something that's important to them and then dig them up later.

Ron Johnson: Like dogs with bones.


Ron Johnson: Or women with grudges.

[Ron and Dwayne are dressed as women to hide from cocaine dealers that are chasing them]

Ron Johnson: You look ridiculous.

Dwayne Cleophus Wayne: Well, nobody's gonna mistake you for Miss America.

Ron Johnson: I'm talking about you lipstick it clashes with your blouse.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after sleeping with Dwayne the night before] Last night didn't mean anything. As far as Dwayne is concerned, that ship has sailed and sunk.

Kim Reese: Not if you can't tell Bryon about it.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Why? We're not even an official couple yet.

Kim Reese: Whitley, if you can't tell him, maybe last night meant more than you think.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Such pearls of wisdom from one who pines over that swine Ron Johnson.

Kim Reese: Well, at least I've got it numbered down to one.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: But has he?

Gina Devereaux: It's not what you think, Whitley. Dion is the sweetest, most romantic guy I've ever gone out with.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: So I've heard. He's just nervous about the concert.

Gina Devereaux: Well, you know how I am - I'm so self-centered and I'm always running off at the mouth, and you know how I flirt.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: There's no excuse for what he did to you, Gina. You're much smarter than this.

Gina Devereaux: But he loves me... and I don't want to break up with him.


Gina Devereaux: I just want him to stop.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Throwing jabs? You're making a big mistake, Gina, if you think you can change that boy.

Gina Devereaux: Well, I mean, I can try, can't I? Isn't love about sacrifices? I mean, maybe I am being stupid, but I don't even care anymore.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: I think you do, Gina. I think you do care. I think you're embarrassed about that black eye. Believe me, I know about sacrifices. But I'd rather sacrifice my relationship than my body... or my spirit.

Gina Devereaux: Well... that's easy for you to say. You always got somebody.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: That's right. And her name is Whitley. Gina, do you really think you need a man that doesn't respect you?

[Removes Gina's glasses and holds her chin upwards, so that she is facing Whitley directly]

Gina Devereaux: [as tears stream down her face] I better not miss his call.

[Rushes out of the room]

[repeated Line]

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: Relax, relate, release.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after being sexually harassed by her employee] It's so nice to know women have a place in business. Too bad it's horizontal.

Kim Reese: [crying after Claire Huxstable asks about her career goals] Everybody expects me to be good I'm not good. What if I mess up on a patient? I can't even chop zuchini.

[Whitley's bridesmaids scream as they enter her bedroom on her wedding day morning]

Marion Gilbert: Ladies, ladies please. Your loud screaming will give me a headache which will cause me to frown and lead me to an early face lift.

[after returning from the Island Police station dressed as women because they're hiding from drug dealers]

Ron Johnson: You got my butt pinched by some dock worker.

Dwayne Cleophus Wayne: A butt pinch hurts a lot less then a bullet wound.

Ron Johnson: [snatching off his wig and slamming it angryly on the couch] At least a bullet is something you can take like a man.

Whitley Marion Gilbert Wayne: [after noticing Freddie's face was painted] Sorry Homey, Whitley don't play that!

Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Ron, you are looking at a woman on a mission.

Ron Johnson: You're looking at a man on a mission. I have to go talk to Kim.

Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Um, wait. I want us to get past our petty differences. There is something that I would like to share with you, brother, and it's from right here, the ol' ticker. My heart.

Ron Johnson: Oh. Okay.

Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: I don't like you, Ron. I never have. You're a greasy worm with the charm of a cockroach. Whoo!

[Starts moving around and shaking]

Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Ah, giving birth, giving birth!

[Places her palms on her forehead]

Winifred 'Freddie' Brooks: Oh, man! Telling the truth is so freeing and it's so forgiving because I forgive myself for not telling you this years ago.