Jaws: The Revenge

There is Montezuma's revenge and then there is Jaws: The Revenge, in either case diarrhea is produced. This is really a terrible film, as if a shark would go out and take revenge on the family that "murdered" his cousins. Nonsense! It is awful to see Michael Caine in this film, I don't know why Michael appears in films like this, he must only do it for the money because the artistic merits of this film are zilch. Poor Lorraine Gary, went into retirement and then only to come out of retirement to do this turkey, and to think she felt obliged to as well, hardly a fitting finale to the end of a career. This film should have won more Razzies than it did but then against it was up against Leonard part 6!

Another Great White stalks the Brody family, this time from Amity Island to The Bahamas.

This is worth watching for the entertainment value of its story and attempted visual spectacle. It also functions as a lesson to movie executives (like Sheinberg) about when to let go of a franchise.

In a movie that is so universally panned for its story and effects it would be pointless for me to put the boot in further, so I will highlight what I think are positives.

Personally, I think the actors do their best with bad material. Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest, Karen Young and Michael Caine have moments when they make their characters feel genuine as opposed to just players in a dodgy production. These for me are the scenes of interaction between characters that do not involve shark horror. I am not saying many are strong, but I think some of them work.

Gary would have been capable of carrying a better story, as her emotions and strength shine through in various moments, but overall there is very little material that showcases her ability.

You can tell the filmmakers are clutching at straws for entertainment at times by sexualising Young's character in certain scenes, but at least she does make the character alluring. In fact, I think the scene where Michael looks out of the bedroom window, with shadows of the rain cast on him, and Carla flicks an item of clothing to get his attention is quite cinematic.

Caine plays his usual persona and his charismatic presence is enough to lift certain scenes but not the overall viewing experience. You have to admire the honesty of anyone who can see the positive by focussing on the house built with the acting fee.

I think Michael Small's musical score does a good job of enhancing certain sequences and making it more tense than deserved given the premise and footage captured.

Visually, I like the location shots in The Bahamas, as it makes for a suitably tropical backdrop for the action taking place. If anything it is a reasonably good advert for the Nassau area. I am not going waste any time restating all flaws associated with roaring sharks, the infamous finale and other generally dodgy nautical horror. It appears the actors and editor had very little material to work with in a rushed production.

It made a relatively good profit at the box office so I guess the Universal executives had the last laugh.

On the island Amity during the Christmas break, Mrs. Ellen Brody's younger son Deputy Sean is taken by a great white shark one night after being called out to move a piece of wood tangled up with a buoy. After this happens Michael who lives in the Bahamas with his wife and daughter studying sea snails, visits his mother and asks her to come down there with him and the family. Ellen wants Michael to not go near the water, but he convinces her that it's all fine, since great whites don't like the warm water. But hold on as the shark that killed Sean is now stalking the family and has only one thing on mind - to wipe out the Brody family.

Leave those Brody's alone! Err, what crud… yeah reading the outline above you'll be just rolling your eyes at how ridiculous this film does get. The last sequel "Jaws 3" was a bad film, but I actually enjoyed it to some degree, but here the personal agenda format was just rubbish and the special connection between the Brody's and the shark was just plain risible. I just found this clunker quite lacklustre with it's melodramatic, soap opera of a story and it's lack of thrills and suspense. It was quite a drag and it did have that cheap TV feel about it, despite it's more than capable cast. The only thing that I thought was decent was the terrifyingly, bloody and macabre opening death. Although, few of the performances ( mainly Lance Guest in the key role of Michael Brody and Michael Caine's happy- go-lucky pilot character Hoagie ) made sure that the film didn't sink too fast. While, the rest were simply one-note and Mario Van Peebles' Jamaican accent was just so dodgy. But what was in need of a life-jacket was the dire script that threw out many awful lines of dialogues. "I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy." What?! The repetitively, diluted story is full of crock with many implausible situations and it doesn't leave too much up to the imagination. Was the writer and the director drinking sea water on this project? Maybe so, because Michael's wife's supposed piece of art resembled… what? I just don't see it. Well, the sprawling beach lines and crystal blue waters were a nice sight. Too bad that the mechanical, but crooked plastic shark slowly got in the way. The ramshackle design looked dreadful, but the makers didn't seem to notice because they constantly kept showing the abomination in it's full glory. I even got the feeling that the shark just couldn't stop grinning. The (few) shark attacks are rather furious and quite graphic, but I found the latter ones to be laughable because of the execution. Really, it goes all out to outdo itself, but this puddle turns out to be simply inept in mostly every single department. Overall, a fatally disastrous novel production that never should have seen open waters and you won't be laughing too much, but you'll be a daze of bemusement to how this franchise fell apart.

It's definitely as bad as its reputation. This is one shark that just won't let go!

It's personal because I hate this audience-insulting movie. This has got to be the stupidest horror flick of all times. The ending (all of them) alone would be enough to justify this film's place on the bottom 100 list. I mean the premise (shark is after the Brody family for revenge. It chases (and beats) the Brody's to Jamaica to harrass them and snack on a few extras).

The effects went WAY downhill for this one. The shark on the Universial Studios tram tour is more convincing then this duct-taped-at-the-seams roboshark. The acting is atrocious (especially Mario Van Peeble and his grating "hey mon" accent)

Jaws: The Revenge is the final entry into the Jaws series, and thank God for that. Ellen Brody is now living in the Bahamas after her youngest son Sean, who has followed in the footsteps of his father and become Chief of the Amity police, is killed by another Great White Shark. In what is the most ridiculous plots of all time, we find out that one specific shark is holding a grudge against the Brody family, and after it kills Sean, it swims against the Gulf Stream down to the Bahamas so it can kill Ellen and Michael as well. Jaws: The Revenge is an embarrassment to anyone who knows anything about sharks, and is the worst of the series.

The plot is completely wrong in this movie. The whole plot is built off of bs. I can't even allow suspension of disbelief to let me ignore that the shark is hunting the Brody family. It's ridiculous! Aside from that is that the film contains any number of factual errors about sharks ranging from having the shark swim backwards, roar like a lion, stand on its tail, and devour a helicopter. The shark in the first film did unusual things, but nothing that would make a shark lover cry.

The acting in this movie is so bad that...You know what? I don't even want to discuss it. It's bad. Terrible. Loathsome. Repugnant. What else is there? Lorraine Gray played Ellen just fine in the first film, but for some reason in this film she let all of her acting skill slip away. Even Michael Caine, who is a vastly talented actor, shows absolutely no skill at all.

Every copy of Jaws: The Revenge should be swallowed by the shark from the first film.

1/10