Outrageous Fortune (1987)

Shelley Long: Lauren

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lauren : Where are we? We've been going for miles and I haven't seen a single white person on the street.

  Sandy : There's one.

  [Lauren looks out of taxi cab window] 

  Sandy : Oops. They got 'em.

  Lauren : That's not funny.

• Sandy : [after spending the night with Michael, Lauren comes into class with a dreamy smile on her face]  Oh, my! That kind of evening, huh?

  Lauren : Well, not the kind you're used to. No money changed hands!

• Sandy : Well, what the hell?

  Lauren : Well, that's not his?

  Sandy : No way! Look at that!

  Lauren : It's too small.

  Sandy : It's a fuckin' pencil!

• Lauren : Are you out of your mind? We don't have two hundred dollars!

  Sandy : Aw, chill out, wouldja?

  Lauren : Oh, my God, he's going to hurt us.

  Sandy : He's not going to hurt us.

  Lauren : Oh? Why not?

  [They get out of the taxi and are in front of an old, dirty apartment building in an awful part of town] 

  Sandy : 'Cause we're gonna be raped and murdered in this building.

• Lauren : Excuse, please. I vas hoping you were to... how do I to say?

  Ticket Agent : You say it quickly. I'm off in three minutes.

• Lauren : No! Stop!

  [runs across the room to snatch the phone receiver out of Sandy's hand] 

  Lauren : Please do not screech at anyone else. I am trying to prepare for an audition here. Thank you!

• Lauren : You defiled a Christmas tree?

  Sandy : No one saw!

• Sandy Brozinsky : Look, Frank. We're not just jerking you around. Some guys are after us because one of them stole a virus that's gonna kill and destroy all the plants and all the trees all the way around. We stole it back, so now they're gonna kill us. You get it?

  Frank : Jesus. The sixties sure were good to you, weren't they?

  Lauren Ames : Frank, that's right. Think back to the sixties. People did things for each other.

  Frank : They were wasted.

• Lauren : [after Michael has fallen from one of the Four Fingers, a leap Lauren made with a grand jété]  Nine years of ballet, asshole!

• Lauren : I can't talk to that guy. I went to private school.

• Lauren : [When Lauren & Sandy are impersonating police officers, a criminal reaches for a gun]  Don't even think about it! Don't even fuckin' think about it! I'll blow your fuckin' nuts off!

• Lauren : This is the happiest day of my life!

  Sandy : [incredulously]  They bought that shit!

  Lauren : [insulted]  Shit? SHIT? You're calling my Hamlet *shit*?

  Sandy : He's a wimp! I mean, look at him! He can't make up his mind about anything! All he does is go around saying "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" Give me Romeo or Henry the Fifth! Now there's a guy I could boff!

  Lauren : Boff? So we're back to boffing again?

• Lauren : How dare you defraud the legitimate theater community of New York City!

• Lauren : Oh, Mother told me about men like this. I hate it when she's right.