"Prettykill" plays like an average episode of a TV series. The script lacks focus, the direction is lackluster, the characters unlikable. When a movie has to resort (yet again) to "Dirty Harry"-like brutality to get your blood going (actually, you just get angry at it), you know it's in serious trouble. (*)
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gridoon24 September 2002
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"Hello 9-1-1? I'd like to report this woman, sometimes she can be this sweet southern gal, very innocent and childlike, a real cute blonde that you'd really like to know better. But at other times she can be this complete psycho who runs around in a bad wig cutting people to pieces with a straight razor. What should I do? Sir, this line is for emergencies only and you really don't have an emergency, you're simply describing the laughably horrible 1987 drama Prettykill directed by George Kaczender, so please just sit back and enjoy the movie".
Police Sgt. Larry Turner (David Birney) has several problems, first his girlfriend Heather (Season Hubley) is a prostitute and a madam, wait that's not really a problem for him, in fact he doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all. He does have other things on his mind though; the biggest would be "Lightning Boy" (Gary Majchrazak), a big time drug dealer that is pushing dope on playgrounds all over New York. Turner is going to get this pusher that is selling death all over the city and who is also responsible for the murder of a fellow police officer. Turner's boss (Yaphet Kotto) doesn't like him or the way that he does his job; he blames Turner for the cop's death and wants him off of the force. Another problem is that Turner (Birney), as we all know is a tough street cop, and tough street cops have to kill scumbags on occasion which causes him much distress. But like any other normal New York cop he relieves his anguish by getting hammered and having angst ridden pillow talk with his hooker girlfriend. Turner's girlfriend Heather is the one you should really feel sorry for, it's not easy to be a high-class prostitute and madam in 1980's New York. First there are the customers, obnoxious and demanding. Then you have to be seen at all of the right parties, if there isn't lots of cocaine, naked people in clown makeup and life-sized nude cakes you can just forget it. You'll also have to deal with the occasional deviant ambassador and lets not forget the personnel problem, finding good employees can really be a hassle. In her unending effort to find quality girls Heather recruits Francie (Suzanne Snyder). Francie is a sweet small-town girl all the way from Georgia, she is a little too "low class" but Heather thinks she has potential. They meet at the strip club were Francie is dancing and hit it off. Of course Heather can't have any of her girls working in such a place and since our little trailer-trash waif has no place to call home Heather takes her home with her. Bad move, because it would seem that Francie might just be slightly unbalanced, lets face it her little noggin is cracked wide open. It seems she has more than one person up there in her head, besides Francie we have the sad little abused girl Jodie, the sophisticated worldly Stella and even her own abusive father lives in her head. If it weren't crowded enough up there already, now it would seem that she might also be turning into her new benefactor. Can Francie be the one responsible for the unexplained murders that have been occurring in the city lately? And lets not forget that mysterious man with a limp, the man who has been following Francie around from the beginning of the film, watching her, dumping dead bodies in the river, spontaneously crying, could he possibly know something about these murders?
This production has all the earmarks of a very badly made television movie that somehow, inexplicably made its way to your local cinema. This film is just so bad at so many levels that it really can't be described. It all adds up to the most enjoyable experience in badness. While it was originally intended to be a serious shocker it actually ended up being a very (unintentional) funny comedy instead. The story itself is laughable, the directing non-existent and the acting, well lets just say it's not award winning by any stretch of the imagination. You would think that David Birney would be tops in this department, having appeared in so many truly awful films, but you would be wrong! Yes, he is in way over his head trying to play a hardened Dirty Harry type street cop on the mean streets of N.Y.C. but in this film Suzanne Snyder has him beat for the top prize in scenery eating. I can find no words in English that can completely describe just how over the top she is in this film. I defy anyone not to bust out laughing when little Francie turns into her own abusive, redneck "Daddy". Everyone in this film is just bad (some more than others), even Yaphet Kotto, who is probably the best actor in this production ends up just giving a lot of mean stares and reciting some pretty stupid lines. As an extra-added bonus this film also happens to feature one of the worst movie soundtracks that I have ever heard, some very bad 80's elevator music that never quite seems to match the scene that it was intended for! It's very possible the makers of this film only used this music after getting a good deal on it when it was rejected for Dynasty. Yes, you will have to go a long way to find another movie as bad (and funny) as this one, although I am sure there are probably quite a few contenders waiting in the wings, Hollywood just never seems to stop churning out monstrosities like this do they? -
This ranks as one of the worst movies ever made. This movie stretches its attempt at psychocriminality. Yaphet Kotto who always gives a solid performance did so here as Birney's boss, but I can't imagine he used this part to get his role on the TV series "Homicide." You have a young southern girl with multiple personalities(the one of her father is over the top)killing prostitutes,a southern farmer with a limp and a pick up truck and at least another dozen cliches that at times make the movie painful to watch. One of the more preposterous shots is having Birney drive his car up to a house with a lawn in front, a stream in back and the address would be at 72nd St. & Columbus. For people who know New York City this is comparable to going to the moon and seeing palm trees. Where Ms.45 was bad, but campy, Pretty Kill is just bad. This movie is best viewed in the old Times Square at the midnight showing of a dilapidated theater with it raining outside and a flask of scotch in your pocket.
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My review was written in March 1987 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.
"Prettykill", originally titled "Tomorrow's a Killer", is a tame exploitation film from Sandy Howard, revisiting once again the thematic territory of his 1982 pic "Vice Squad". Pic is notable mainly as the vehicle by which former Canadian-U. S. art film distributor Spectrafilm gets its feet wet with grindhouse product.
Three parallel stories intertwine unconvincingly in Sandra K. Bailey's far-fetched script: David Birney is a cop tortured with guilt for killing a guy in the line of duty, whose problems keep mounting as he gets in hot water with his superior, Yaphet Kotto; his girlfriend Season Hubley (star of "Vice Squad") is a $500-a-pop call girl fed up with her life but unwilling to wed Birney; and Suzanne Snyder is a pretty blonde dancer who Hubley takes under her wing to show her the ropes of prostitution.
A key subplot involves Hubley's mentor, an older prostie now working as a madam (Susannah York), who is having problems as her young daughters (raised in the same house where her group of prostitutes work) find out about her line of work and are ostracized at school. This material is played sentimentally and doesn't work.
The drug bust case Birney's working on curiously links up with an investigation of a serial killer of prostitutes, with Birney's conflict of interests leading him to protect York and foolishly punch out Kotto, spelling the end of the line for him as a New York City policeman. Hubley becomes fed up with hooking and decides to quit. Main plot element, however, is revelation (already given away by the film's attractive one-sheet of Snyder in lingerie holding a knife) that Snydr4 is a schizo, talking on her incestuous fathr's personality and killing hookers.
Main entertainment value of this plodding film comes in some of the campiest scenes since "Mommie Dearest" as Snyder changes voices an behavior back and forth between her lip-smacking, southern-fried dady and her own ever-smiling (replete with Raggedy Ann doll plaything) little girl personality. Pic climaxes with her made up and styled as a doppelganger for Hubley, taking on daddy's voice and trying to kill hne. Sudden happy ending is preposterous.
Birney is miscast as a film noir antihero while Hubley is far too cool (one almost starts sympathizing with her sleazy johns when she is so unfriendly to them) for the role. Both Kotto and YHork maintain their professional standards and Snyder is a hoot -her performance is ready-made for midnight screenings. Supporting cast is stuck with stereotypes.
Film is professionally lensed, but lowon action for a policier. One can infer from the end credits (which list gallery credits under "additional photography unit") that a sleazy sequence set in an art gallery, including the films only nude footage, was shot and added as an afterthought, typical of exploitation features. Though set in New York, the film was made primarily in Toronto. -
SlasherReviewer15 September 2004Well here is one lame attempt at the 80's Slasher movie genre. Poor everything in this one. The main enjoyment I had was watching a stripper get naked for about 10 seconds? Just a stupid TV movie although it's R rated for some profanity and other stupid things. Don't even waste your time on this one unless you like your slasher movies with no blood, gore, storyline, etc. I have 2500 movies in my collection and this is going to be sold for sure, not worth the $3 I paid for it that's for sure. Slasher reviewer gives this one a thumbs down and if you happen to see a copy of this, grab it off the shelf and use it as toilet paper in the bathroom in the video store!!