Scorpion (1986)

R   |    |  Action

Scorpion (1986) Poster

American spy Scorpion learns of the KGB capture of The Widow just as she is ready to retire. Later Scorpion gets kidnapped from her hot tub.


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21 August 2010 | Scott_Mercer
| Action Movie With No Action
One of the stupid sub-genres I love is low budget action films starring foreign born "martial arts masters." This one features Tonny Tolleners, a dude whose primary claim to fame is that he once beat Chuck Norris in some type of contest. That must have been many years before this movie was made.

I am usually willing to grade on a curve in the case of these low budget films. Actually the budget on this probably wasn't too low since it had a few semi-known professional actors in it. But since it was a product of Crown International Pictures, I'm sure they didn't break the bank putting this down on celluloid.

Those professional folks do the best they can, but the movie is stuck with a lead who can't act. This was Tolleners' only film. Where he should stand out, the action/fight sequences, he also fails to impress. And that my friends, denotes a BIG problem. When you have a "martial arts master" who can't fight worth a damn (or at least appears that way due to the way the fights and stunts have been staged), then you are really doomed as a movie. Pacing here is deadly slow. I was hoping for the hero to get shot just so some excitement would ensue. Also aggravating is the middle 1980's synthesizer based musical score, which has not aged well in any way, shape or form.

I did like the scene filmed in my old neighborhood, downtown Los Angeles around Fifth and Main, seen in far too many films and TV shows standing in for "generic urban slum." Bet that's not the only time somebody got shot in the stairwell of the Rosslyn Hotel.

This movie can be avoided by all but the most masochistic fan of 1980's action films.

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