19 June 2008 | Coventry
Snakes on the road, in the car, in your flesh and genes
The Curse part two?? The only thing this modest 80's horror production is cursed with is the burden of getting linked to another and entirely unrelated B-movie that just happens to be produced by the same greedy Italian (Ovidio G. Assonitis). "The Curse", a.k.a. "The Farm", is a poorly made and incredibly cheesy movie about a meteorite crash-landing on a farmland and subsequently mutating the crops and the inhabitants. It's a personal guilty pleasure of mine, but the majority of horror fans clearly with a better taste in movies than me dislike it and therefore are likely to avoid "The Bite" based of their prejudices. Not that this movie is an absolute must-see or anything, but it's simply unfair to promote something as a sequel when it tried to be original. No meteorites or infected crops in sight here, as "The Bite" revolves on genetically altered snakes and the disastrous effects their bite cause. Trying to reach Albuquerque via a short cut, hunky Clark and his cute girlfriend Lisa pass through an abandoned military zone in the middle of the desert. Not entirely abandoned, however, since the place is full of virulent and more importantly genetically altered snakes. One of the little buggers slithers into the jeep and sees its opportunity to bite Clark in the arm. From that moment on, "The Bite" becomes an absurd and laughable 80's cheesefest. Clark's arm gradually mutates into a ravenous snake-monster and the rest of his mind and body goes through some vast transformations as well. The film is somewhat oddly structured and contains a couple of twists with an extremely high "WTF"-level. For example, the script puts a lot of effort into a sub plot about an amateur medic (with a gigantic nose) chasing the young couple because he gave Clark a wrong antidote and fears a lawsuit. The guy even leads a communication network with deranged truckers! Then there's also a really peculiar twist involving a family of exaggeratedly religious freaks near the end. Weird
and quite boring often, too! Oh well, don't worry too much about the oddness, because the obvious elements to enjoy here are "Screaming" Mad George's engrossing special effects and the enchanting appearance of 80's beauty Jill Schoelen. Screaming Georgie's snakes are awesome and, even though the monstrous effects are not always convincing, this certainly isn't a film I would recommend to people with a phobia for slithering animals! Loads of icky stuff crawling out of people's mouths' and all, you know! The climax is completely unhinged. It looks and feels as if the producers had some extra money left and offered Screaming Mad George the opportunity to experiment and go really berserk with his special type of repulsive art.