Wally: I feel sorry for you, my man. I mean, I don't know what I'd do if I had a woman who wouldn't give me any.

Kevin: Wouldn't give you any what, Wallace? Gum?

Margaret: What about Top Gun?

Angela: Oh yeah, my parents wouldn't let me see that one. What's it about?

Margaret: Tom Cruise!

Dr. Lefcourt: You are Jack Lefcourt's boy, and the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree!

Dan: That's right, Dad. I'm an acorn.

"Red Hot" Ruth Strull: Hey, I remember you! Look, Ed, it's the weenie!

Ed "Wild Man" Strull: Hey, Weenie, how's it going?

Dr. Lefcourt: I'm a doctor now. It's *Dr.* Weenie - I mean, Dr. Lefcourt.

Wallace: Hey, I've got studs on my shirt. You know what that makes me, don't you?

Kevin McCrea: Yeah... a jerk.

Doug: Oh dude, you're not really gonna wear a pink tuxedo, are you?

Kevin McCrea: It's not pink - it's salmon.