- John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."
- Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
- John McClane: No fucking shit, lady! Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?
- Hans Gruber: [on the radio] Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
- John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
- Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
- John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
- Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
- John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered with glass.
- John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
- Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
- John McClane: Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm...
- John McClane: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!
- Hans Gruber: [Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt] "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."
- Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
- John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.
- Ginny: [Enraged, Karl smashes a table of glasses] God. That man looks *really* pissed.
- Holly Gennero McClane: He's still alive.
- Ginny: What?
- Holly Gennero McClane: Only John can drive somebody that crazy.
- John McClane: You'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
- Hans Gruber: Oh, yes. What was it you said to me before? "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."
- Hans Gruber: [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
- John McClane: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I wanted to give you a call.
- Karl: How does he know so much about th...
- Hans Gruber: [silences Karl him with a gesture] That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
- John McClane: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
- [speaking to dead man about cigarettes]
- John McClane: Whoa, these are very bad for you.
- Hans Gruber: Who are you then?
- John McClane: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.
- Joseph Takagi: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
- Hans Gruber: [Chuckling] Who said we were terrorists?
- John McClane: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
- Hans Gruber: Put down the gun.
- John McClane: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
- Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.
- John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
- Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.
- Hans Gruber: [Seeing the model of Nakatomi Tower in Takagi's office] "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." Benefits of a classical education.
- Holly Gennero McClane: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.
- Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
- John McClane: Drop it, dickhead. It's the police.
- Tony: You won't hurt me.
- John McClane: Oh, yeah? Why not?
- Tony: Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
- John McClane: Yeah. That's what my captain keeps telling me.
- FBI Agent Johnson: I'm Agent Johnson, this is Special Agent Johnson.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: Oh, how you doin'?
- FBI Agent Johnson: No relation.
- John McClane: [while crawling through a narrow ventilation shaft] Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.
- Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement...
- John McClane: [listening on the radio] What the fuck?
- Karl: [mouthing silently] Asian Dawn?
- Hans: [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.
- John McClane: [fighting Karl] You motherfucker, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna fuckin' cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!
- Hans Gruber: Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?
- Richard Thornburg: Get on the phone to Harry in New York. Come on, baby, move, move.
- Thornburg's Assistant: Got it.
- Sergeant Al Powell: Better get a hold of somebody in dispatch.
- John McClane: Sister Teresa called me Mr. McClane in the third grade. My friends call me John, and you're neither, shit-head.
- Hans Gruber: I have someone who wants to talk to you; a very special friend who was with you at the party tonight.
- Harry Ellis: [Hans hands him the walkie talkie] Hey, John boy.
- John McClane: Ellis?
- Harry Ellis: Yeah. Now listen, John, they're giving me a few minutes to try to talk some sense into you. I know you think you're doing your job, John, and I can appreciate that, but, you're just dragging this thing out. Now look, no one gets outta here until these guys can talk to the *LA* police, and that just ain't gonna happen until you stop messin' up the works, capisci?
- John McClane: Ellis, what have you told them?
- Harry Ellis: I told 'em we were old friends and you were my guest at the party.
- John McClane: Ellis, you shouldn't be doin' this.
- Harry Ellis: Tell me about it. Alright, John, listen. They want you to tell them where the detonators are. They know people are listening. They want the detonators or they're gonna kill me.
- [pause]
- Harry Ellis: John, didn't you hear me?
- John McClane: Yeah, I hear you.
- Harry Ellis: Hey, John, I think you can get with the program a little, huh? The police are here now, it's their problem. Now tell these guys where the detonators are so no one else gets hurt, you know I'm putting my life on the line for you, pal.
- John McClane: Ellis, listen to me very carefully.
- Harry Ellis: John?
- John McClane: Shut up Ellis, just shut your mouth! Put Hans back on the line.
- [Ellis holds the walkie talkie up]
- John McClane: Hans, this shit-head does not know what kind of man you are, but I do. Listen to me!
- Hans Gruber: Good. Then, you'll give us what we want and save your friend's life. You're not part of this equation this time, you realize that.
- [presents his gun]
- Harry Ellis: Hey, what am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun, this is radio, not television.
- John McClane: [nervously yelling] Hans, this asshole is not my friend, I just met him tonight, I don't know him. Jesus Christ, Ellis these people are gonna kill you, tell them, you don't know me.
- Harry Ellis: John, how can you say that after all these years, huh? John?
- [gets no response]
- Harry Ellis: John?
- [still gets no response, then laughs slightly, then Hans shoots him in the head]
- Hans Gruber: [he puts the walkie talkie up to the screaming crowd, then yells into the walkie talkie] You hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators? Where are they, or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!
- John McClane: Go fuck yourself, Hans.
- Hans: [Hans uses McClane's gun and says something in an uninterpreted German on his CB Radio] Put down the gun, and give me my detonators.
- John McClane: Well, well, well... Hans.
- Hans: Put it down now.
- John McClane: That's pretty tricky with that accent. You oughta be on fucking TV with that accent. But what do you want with the detonators, Hans? I already used all the explosives. Or did I?
- Hans: I'm going to count to three...
- John McClane: Yeah, like you did with Takagi?
- John McClane: [Hans pulls trigger] Ooops.
- [Hans pulls the trigger a few times more]
- John McClane: No more bullets. What do you think, I'm fucking stupid, Hans?
- Hans: [elevator opens] You were saying?
- Holly Gennero McClane: I have a request.
- Hans Gruber: What idiot put you in charge?
- Holly Gennero McClane: You did.
- [Hans looks at her]
- Holly Gennero McClane: When you murdered my boss. Now everybody's looking to me. Personally, I'd pass on the job. I don't enjoy being this close to you.
- [long pause]
- Hans Gruber: Go on.
- Holly Gennero McClane: We have a pregnant woman out there.
- [Hans looks disturbed]
- Holly Gennero McClane: Relax. She's not due for a couple of weeks. Sitting on that rock isn't doing her back any good, so I would like permission to move her to one of the office where there's a sofa.
- Hans Gruber: No, but I'll have a sofa brought out to you. Good enough?
- Holly Gennero McClane: Good enough, and unless you like it messy, I'd start bringing us in groups to the bathroom.
- Hans Gruber: Yes... you're right, it will be done.
- Sergeant Al Powell: I shot a kid. He was 13 years old. Ohhh, it was dark, I couldn't see him. He had a ray gun, looked real enough. You know, when you're a rookie, they can teach you everything about bein' a cop except how to live with a mistake. Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to draw my gun on anybody again.
- Hans Gruber: Nice suit. John Phillips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there.
- Hans Gruber: [during a shootout with McClane, who is barefoot] Karl, schieß dem Fenster
- [sic]
- Hans Gruber: [Karl gives Hans a puzzled look. Exasperated, Hans repeats it in English] *Shoot* the *glass!*
- Dwayne T. Robinson: Did you hear that? He just let the guy die, man. He just gave him up. Gimme that headset. That's like pullin' the trigger yourself.
- Sergeant Al Powell: Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
- Dwayne T. Robinson: Cold. This on the right channel?
- Cop: Yes, sir.
- Sergeant Al Powell: He did everything he could to save him. If he gave himself up, they'd both be dead right now.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: Oh, no way, man, no way. They'd be talking to us. Listen, you tell this partner of yours, Powell, to stay the hell out of this from now on, do you hear me? Because, if he doesn't, I'm gonna nail him, boy. I'm really gonna nail his ass, now, believe me.
- Sergeant Al Powell: The man is hurting! He is alone, tired, and he hasn't seen diddly-squat from anybody down here. Now you're gonna stand there and tell me that he's gonna give a damn about what you do to him, *if* he makes it out of there alive? Why don't you wake up and smell what you shoveling?
- Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, Sergeant. Any time you wanna go home, you consider yourself dismissed.
- Sergeant Al Powell: No, sir. You couldn't drag me away.
- Sergeant Al Powell: [over radio] Hey, John? John McClane you still with us?
- John McClane: Yeah. But all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. Chalk up two more bad guys.
- [Begins removing glass from foot]
- Sergeant Al Powell: Well, the boys down here will be glad to hear that. You know we got a pool going on you.
- John McClane: What kind of odds am I getting?
- Sergeant Al Powell: You don't wanna know.
- John McClane: Put me down for twenty, I'm good for it.
- [pulls shard of glass from foot]
- John McClane: . Hey pal, you got flat feet?
- Sergeant Al Powell: What the hell you talking about, man.
- John McClane: Something had to get you off the street.
- Sergeant Al Powell: What's the matter? You don't think jockeying papers around a desk is a noble effort for a cop?
- John McClane: No...
- Sergeant Al Powell: I had an accident.
- John McClane: The way you drive, I can see why. What'd you do? Run over your captains foot with the car?
- Sergeant Al Powell: I shot a kid. He was 13 years old. Oh, it was dark, I couldn't see him, he had a ray gun, looked real enough. You know when you're a rookie they can teach you everything about being a cop, except how to live with a mistake. Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to draw my gun on anyone again.
- John McClane: ...Sorry man.
- Hans Gruber: The circuits that cannot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You asked for miracles, Theo, I give you the F.B.I.
- Hans Gruber: When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.
- John McClane: [John is fighting Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck!
- Harry Ellis: Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash. Hey, sprechen ze talk, huh?
- John McClane: [upon seeing Marco arrive, suspense music plays] Freeze m*th*rf*cker! Drop it!
- Marco: [panicking] Don't! Don't!
- John McClane: Put that fucking gun down! Put the gun down!
- Marco: [starts to do so] Ok! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- John McClane: Drop the fucking gun!
- Marco: [still doing so but very slowly] I know! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- Heinrich: [music changes to a climatic theme as Heinrich comes in] Marco duck!
- [John easily shoots Heinrich but Marco manages to take cover. John then hides under a long conference table]
- Heinrich: [Meanwhile Al walks inside the building when he feels so sternly stoned]
- Sergeant Al Powell: Aw, the hell with this.
- [he walks away]
- Sergeant Al Powell: [after a quick scene change Marco is on the table shooting it as he walks down it]
- Marco: You are done! No more table. Where you going pal?
- [empties his clip and jams a fresh one in]
- Marco: Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate.
- [John shoots him through the table, emptying his entire magazine]
- John McClane: Thank for the advice!
- Big Johnson: [flying in the chopper to the roof] Just like fuckin' Saigon, hey, Slick?
- Little Johnson: [smiling] I was in junior high, dickhead.
- Harry Ellis: I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
- Hans Gruber: What does he want?
- Harry Ellis: It's not what I want, it's what I can give you.
- [comes in]
- Harry Ellis: Well, I've watched 60 Minutes, and I'm saying to myself, they're motivated, they're happening, I.E. they want something. Maybe it's because you're pissed off or maybe it's the jockies, it's none of my business.
- Hans Gruber: You're amazing. You've figured this all out out already.
- Harry Ellis: Hey, business is business. You use a gun, I use a fountain pen what's the difference? Let's put it in my terms: you're in a hostile takeover, you snatch us up for some green mail, but you're not expecting some poison pill to be running around the building, am I right? Hans, *bubby*, I'm your white knight.
- Hans Gruber: [Looking puzzled] I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?
- Harry Ellis: You know that guy that's fucking things up upstairs?
- [sits down]
- Harry Ellis: I can give him to you.
- [grins]
- John McClane: [stealing Tony's shoes] Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
- John McClane: [McClane watches fire trucks approach the building] C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' fuckin' dalmatian!
- Gail Wallens: Author of "Hostage Terrorist, Terrorist Hostage: A Study in Duality." Dr. Hasseldorf, what can we expect in the next few hours?
- Dr. Hasseldorf: Well, Gail, by this time the hostages should be going through the early stages of the Helsinki Syndrome.
- Harvey Johnson: As in Helsinki, Sweden.
- Dr. Hasseldorf: Finland.
- Sergeant Al Powell: [about McClane] In fact, I think he's a cop. Maybe not LAPD, but he's definitely a badge.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: How do you know that?
- Sergeant Al Powell: A hunch, things he said. Like being able to spot a phony ID.
- Dwayne T. Robinson: Jesus Christ, Powell, he could be a fucking bartender for all we know.
- John McClane: [Tying fire hose around his waist] Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?
- [Argyle turns on the radio in the limousine and Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis" is playing]
- Argyle: Hey, that'll work.
- John McClane: Don't you got any Christmas music?
- Argyle: This *is* Christmas music!
- Theo: [laughing as a LAPD SWAT armored vehicle is hit with a missile] Oh my God, the quarterback is TOAST!