The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Ricardo Montalban: Vincent Ludwig

Photos 

Quotes 

• [offering a cigar] 

  Vincent Ludwig : Cuban?

  Frank : No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales.

• Ludwig : So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?

  Frank : Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.

• Vincent Ludwig : Drebin!

  Jane : Frank!

  Frank : You're both right.

• Jane : How could you do something so vicious?

  Vincent Ludwig : It was easy my dear. You forget, I spent two years as a building contractor.

• Vincent Ludwig : This is a rare samurai pen, a gift from Emperor Hirohito. Unbreakable.

  [demonstrating] 

  Vincent Ludwig : Impervious to everything but water. Its value is... beyond estimation.

  Frank : That's fascinating.

  Vincent Ludwig : Hmm. But I'm sure you didn't pay me this visit to hear a lecture on fine art, Lieutenant. To what do I owe the honor?

  Frank : [continuing to play with the pen]  I'm investigating the attempted murder of one of your dockworkers.

  [accidentally breaking it and sending one end into Ludwig's fish tank] 

  Frank : A man named Nordberg, uh, a police officer.

  Vincent Ludwig : [alarmed, but maintaining his composure]  He's still alive, then?

  Frank : [trying to retrieve the pen from the fish tank]  Uh, he was shot six times. Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ, and the salt water preserved him until he was found.

• Vincent Ludwig : Tell me, Mr. Papshmir, in all the world, who is the most effective assassin?

  Papshmir : Well, I would think ANYONE who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin.

  Vincent Ludwig : Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin - one who doesn't KNOW he's an assassin.

• Vincent Ludwig : [holding Jane at gunpoint]  You ruined my life, Drebin. Now I'm going to ruin yours.

  Frank : Leave the girl alone.

  Vincent Ludwig : I am. I'm going to kill you.

  Frank : I see. Well...

  [grabbing an innocent bystander] 

  Frank : Two can play at that game.

• Frank : I am not the kind of man who takes this kind of thing lightly. There's no room in my organization for any type of criminal activity. Look out there. A vast commercial development built by me. Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago?

  Frank : [Ludwig's fish bites his nose]  YAHH!

  Vincent Ludwig : You bet you do. Oranges groves, acres of them, as far as the eye could see. But now, of course, that land is able to generate ten times the amount of profit per square foot.

  [turning and seeing his red nose] 

  Vincent Ludwig : Are you all right, Lieutenant?

  [Frank nods] 

  Vincent Ludwig : Here, let me get you some Kleenex.