Ted 'Theodore' Logan
Bill S. Preston
Rufus
Napoleon
Billy the Kid
Socrates
Freud
Genghis Khan
Joan of Arc
Abraham Lincoln
Beethoven
Captain Logan
Mr. Ryan
Missy / Mom (as Amy Stock-Poynton)
Mr. Preston
Deacon
Princess Joanna
Princess Elizabeth (as Kimberley LaBelle)
Ox (as Will Robbins)
Randolf
Buffy
Jody
Bartender
Tattooed Cowboy
Bearded Cowboy
Old West Ugly Dude
Kerry
Daphne
Bowling Alley Manager (as Dick Alexander)
John the Serf
Evil Duke
Mother at Waterslides
Waterslide Attendant
Music Store Salesman
Girl at Mall
Student Speaker
Aerobic Saleswoman
Aerobic Instructor
Mall Photographer (as J. Donovan Nelson)
Store Clerk
Police Psychiatrist
Stupid Waiter
Ugly Waiter
Neanderthal #1
Neanderthal #2
Security Guard Sandler (as Ron R. Althoff)
Dance Photographer (uncredited)
The Three Most Important People in the World (uncredited)
Guy on Escalator (uncredited)
Bowler (uncredited)
Student (uncredited)
Deputy (uncredited)
Mr. Ward (uncredited)
Bowling Scorekeeper (uncredited)
Kid at Waterslides (uncredited)
Mall Goer #1 (Beethoven) (uncredited)