I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

Not Rated   |    |  Comedy, Horror


I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990) Poster

When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact ... See full summary »

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5.6/10
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  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
  • I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

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8 January 2019 | BA_Harrison
6
| Take it for a spin.
Brummie motorbike courier Noddy (Neil Morrissey) buys himself a classic Norton Commando, unaware that his new ride is possessed by a demon and requires blood for fuel. With the help of a garlic-breathed police detective (Michael Elphick) and a biker priest (Anthony Daniels), Noddy tries to stop the evil machine's reign of terror.

A man behaving badly, Private Schulz and C3PO versus a motorbike: this loopy British comedy horror looks cheap and the humour is uneven, but it is all so delightfully daft that it's hard to hate on it too much. Similar in tone to early Peter Jackson movies (but nowhere near as full throttle, mind you), I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle combines low-brow comedy with oodles of gore, making it the perfect accompaniment to a couple of beers (or whatever you prefer to smoke).

The craziness includes a talking turd in a toilet (played by Daniel Peacock), a sword fight in a pub, an ex-Grange Hill student (Paula Ann Bland) in a nurse's uniform being cut in half, the riderless Norton decapitating a gang of Hell's Angels, a traffic warden getting her comeuppance, and Burt Kwouk as a a Chinese Takeaway owner called Fu King. All that and a healthy serving of cheesy splatter makes the film worth a go, even if we are presented with the genuinely horrific sight of Morrissey's arse rising from the crapper.

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