Xavier Quinn
Thomas Elgin
Hadley Elgin
Fred Miller
Lola Quinn
Jump Jones
Ubu Pearl
Governor Chalk
Jose Patina
Maubee
Isola
Cocodick
Jax
Athens
Bim
Henry Quinn
Dr. Stuhlberg
Dr. Raj
McKeon
Rupert
Jersey (as David Ellis)
Fudge
Phylo
Nicotine
Pilot
Secretary
The Maid
Security Guard
Jody
Eliza
Bartender
Francis
Apollo
Blizzard
Turtle
Raisen
Percy
Groom
Donald Pater
Beautician
Bride
Preacher
Wedding Singers and Band