Christmas Vacation (1989)

Juliette Lewis: Audrey Griswold

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Quotes 

• [after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family] 

  Frances : Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.

  Audrey : He worked really hard, Grandma.

  Art : So do washing machines.

• Audrey : Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?

  Ellen : Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.

• Clark : We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.

  Audrey : We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?

  Clark : No, I have one of those at home.

• Audrey : I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.

  Art : If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.

• Audrey : [Commenting on sleeping with her brother]  I have nightmares about what he does when I'm NOT lying next to him.

• Audrey : Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

• Audrey : [Peeling a carrot]  Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

  Ellen : Audrey!

  Audrey : Well can we at least forbid them to answer the phone? Alexander called this morning and grandpa Clark told him... I couldn't come to the phone 'cause I was going to the bathroom.

  Ellen : We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.

  Audrey : Everybody? Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is, mom?

  Ellen : [Grabs a box of matches off the fridge]  Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.

  Audrey : I have nightmares about what he does in his bed alone when I'm not lying right next to him.

  Ellen : Well, I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

  [Lights up a cigarette to smoke and Frances calls out from the next room] 

  Frances : Ellen, are you smoking again?

  [Ellen puts out the cigarette] 

  Ellen : No!

  [Grabs a cabbage and chops it in half]