River of Death (1989)

This movie kept my attention for the entire time I had it on. I consider this a small achievement on the part of River of Death considering what an incompetent film it is from start to finish. But is it horrible? Nope. Just pretty bad. This is like one of those movies on a Mill Creek dvd set you would find in a Walmart bargain bin. The set would probably be titled something insipid like "Jungle Fever" and River of Death would no doubt be the best movie out of the 7 or 8 random titles in the pack. Cannibals and Nazis should both be in more movies together I think, but even they couldn't save this misguided adventure yarn that felt like it was held together by silly string. One scene seems to begin and end in the middle of the next leaving the viewer going "What the heck? I thought he was flying the helicopter?" I'm not sure if the movie could have benefited from extensive storyboarding but it seems to me like there was no planning at all. Some scenes of people walking through the jungle were filmed with helicopter shots inserted from time to time and then there would be a shot of birds trying to fly out of frame to escape this stink bomb. And the writing was just bad...complimented by worse acting including a really hammy performance from Donald Pleasance. His character is shacked up with a girl that is about 5 decades younger than him and every scene with these two that called for physical affection made me cringe and laugh at the same time. Despite the movies near countless flaws, I still really enjoyed it. Would I recommend it? No...but fans of trashy jungle flicks may want to give it a go.