Capt. Braddock: Okay, no more bullshit...
Capt. Braddock: [to Dave, talking fast] Was there or wasn't there a woman?
Dave: Are you serious?
Capt. Braddock: Yes, I'm goddamn serious.
Dave: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?
Capt. Braddock: What the hell is he taking about?
Wally: He reads lips. You're talking too fast.
Capt. Braddock: [to Dave, talking slowly] Was there... a wom-an... pres-ent?
Dave: [to Capt. Braddock, talking slowly] Yes. There was... a wom-an... pres-ent.
Capt. Braddock: Why is he talking like that?
Wally: [to Capt. Braddock, talking slowly] Because he's deaf... not stu-pid.
Dave: Don't we get a last request?
Eve: What would you like?
Dave: Would you scratch my nose for me?
[Eve scratches his nose with a coin and then kisses him]
Dave: You're a very sick woman.
Eve: Thank you. Mr Karew, what would you you like?
Wally: I suppose a fuck is out of the question.
Eve: I'm afraid so.
Dave: Today I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection.
Dave: Did she say ship, or shit?
Wally: Where are we?
Dave: Probably on our way to New Jersey by now.
Wally: No kidding! I got family in there! Do you wanna come with me?
Dave: Of course. You've earned my trust, Wally. You've been a very good friend to me these past couple days. You're always there for me. You never get me into trouble. Sometimes it seems a bit boring but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.
Wally: That's beautiful, Dave. Do you mean everything you just said?
Dave: I'll tell you how I really feel in about a minute or two. Right now I'm a little overwhelmed by the STINK of the seven tons of garbage that you drove us into!
Wally: Is THAT what it is? I thought you let one go! That's why I didn't say anything!
Dave: That's very kind of you! Thank you!
Wally: I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt.
Dave: We're in a warehouse, and you just hit a cow. I think we better back up.
Dave: Who are you talking to?
Wally: I'm talking to you, you prick.
Dave: Why don't you look me in the eye and say that?
Wally: I would if I could but I can't, I'm blind.
Dave: You're blind?
Wally: Yes I'm blind, what are you, fucking deaf?
Dave: Yes, I'm fucking deaf!
Wally: You're really deaf?
Dave: I'm really deaf.
Wally: Then how do you know what I'm saying?
Dave: Because I'm reading your lips, now you want the job or not?
Dave: Well excusez-moi, monsieur hot shit!
Medical Conference Attendee: [Addressing Wally, who is impersonating a Swedish gynecologist] Which exercise would you find most beneficial to geriatric sexuality?
Wally: [faking a Swedish accent] Oh, boy. Well, some of my patients prefer walking, some prefer bicycling. But for best results, to guarantee satisfaction, most of them like fucking. You know, poonta-poonta-poonta. I like it myself, you know. One in the morning, and late at night.
Dave: I'm not handicapped, I have you.
Dave: [to Raoul] Stop right there or I'll throw this knife through your head! I mean it! I'll throw your brains out!
Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Freeze!
Dave: [to Raoul] That's more like it! Now put your hand up!
Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Put your hands in the air!
Dave: [to Raoul] Oh, so you do speak English!
Capt. Braddock: What's the story here, Gatlin? I got the commissioner crawling up my ass!
Wally: You look fine to me!