Bonnie Simpson: [about Timothy] So, dad. What do you think? Perfect, right?

Doug Simpson: [almost lauging] Yeah, wow. Yale, perfect. At last, perfect. Home by 11, perfect. I, uh... wait a minute. Chapter 52. He's too perfect!

Timothy: You teasing little bitch!

Katie Simpson: Thank you Timothy, that was beautiful and special.

Doug Simpson: Now, what have we learned today?

Katie Simpson: [sighing thankfully] I learned to never, never ask my dad a question he doesn't have the guts to answer.

Doug Simpson: [about his daughter] Who was that kid?

Janet Pearson: [confused] Andy, from down the street.

Doug Simpson: [disbelieving] Nah nah. The one in the skirt.

Doug Simpson: [catching up with Katie] Who was that? Was that, that Joey kid? The kid with the flying saucer truck? I saw the earring. You couldn't make a date with your father, you had to sneak a boyfriend into.

Katie Simpson: Dad, when I broke a date with Joey he thought I was dating another guy, he followed me here. Men are so insecure!