Have I Got News for You (1990– )

Jack Dee: Self - Guest Presenter, Self, Self - Panelist

Quotes 

• Jack Dee : Yes, Queen Elizabeth I was bald and had wooden teeth and yet somehow managed to remain a virgin.

• Jack Dee : Can I just say that I don't call Hitler "The Fuhrer"? It's just written there.

  Guest : So you were Only Following Orders?

• Jack Dee : Adult Walruses are recognisable by their Walrus Moustaches... and by the fact that they are bloody great Walruses.

• Jack Dee : Would anyone like to see a showjumping rabbit?

• Jack Dee : What's special about the A3106?

  Paul Merton : It doesn't exist?

  Jack Dee : No.

  Paul Merton : It takes you to another Planet?

  Jack Dee : No.

  Paul Merton : If you go really fast it takes you to the 17th Century?

• Jack Dee : And with Paul Merton tonight, Phil Wank!

  [nobody notices] 

• Jack Dee : Lungless frog found what?

  Peter Seranfanowitz : Smoking without consequence?

• Jack Dee : It's looking like Liz Truss is going to be the next PM. Don't take it from me, it's right there in the Book of Revelations.

• Jack Dee : With us tonight is Marcus Ber- Ah bollocks!

  Paul Merton : Marcus Bergbollocks? Any relation of the Hampshire Bergbollockses?