Hyacinth: This is not the Chinese restaurant. This is a residential number and you are speaking to the lady of the house on a white, slim line telephone with last number redial facility.
[she pronounces it "Bouquet", and very, very shrilly]
Hyacinth: The Bucket residence, the lady of the house speaking!
Hyacinth: It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!
Someone: Oh damn! It's the Bucket woman!
Onslow: [to Daisy] What discourages me about looking for your father is we usually find him.
Emmet Hawksworth: [repeated line about Hyacinth in a sad and depressed tone] She'll sing at me, I know she will.
Richard Bucket: Hyacinth, do you ever wonder why Sheridan shows very little interest in girls?
Hyacinth: It's my sister Violet! She's the one with the Mercedes, swimming pool, and room for a pony.
Hyacinth: Listen, Daisy. Tell Onslow to put a shirt on while I'm on the telephone. I can always sense him there, expanding.
Hyacinth: [on the phone] No, I will not send over another portion of deep-fried squid. This is not the Chinese take-away. You are connected to a private residence on a white, slimlined telephone with last-number redial facility.
Hyacinth: Oh, Richard. You know how much I love daddy. I would have him here if it wasn't for all the time he spends in the bathroom.
Hyacinth: It's Bouquet!
Hyacinth: Sit wherever you like, dear... *except* there! I always like to face the window.
Onslow: Oh, nice!
Onslow: Daisy, I am not just a play thing.
Hyacinth: And you are?... Regional Postal Manager. I guess you will do, though I would have preferred to speak to someone on a national scale.
Hyacinth: Today could be the day I'm mistaken for somebody important.
Hyacinth: Coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth! Bring Emmet!
Hyacinth: I would be very pleased if you would accept my invitation to one my candlelight suppers.
Hyacinth: If my Sheridan were here he'd be appalled!
Hyacinth: Richard a little decorum please, that is not the sort of behaviour one would expect from a person with a reservation for a quailty cruise
Hyacinth: All the men like Rose, that's her problem.
Hyacinth: What a wonderful sense of duty Daddy has.
Hyacinth: [repeated line: Richard goes to pick up the front gate to Daisy and Onslow's after if falls off] Leave it! Leave it!
Hyacinth: It's my sister Daisy. She's not the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony.
Hyacinth: Take your shoes off before you enter the house, dear.
Hyacinth: Rose, that skirt's too short!
Hyacinth: I want you to instruct your superiors that this is a first class stamp residence.
Hyacinth: Now don't be silly, Richard!
Hyacinth: Oh, don't make difficulties, Richard!
Hyacinth: Your suggestion is noted. However, I see little practical merit in having the telephone up my jumper!
Onslow: [Repeated line] Is there any more beer?
Hyacinth: [on Daddy] I'd have him at home if it wasn't for the dribbling.
Rose: Bog off, Onslow!