Julia Louis-Dreyfus credited as playing...
Elaine Benes
- Cosmo Kramer: [enters Jerry's apartment. Slams money on the counter] I'm out!
- Elaine: What?
- Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, I'm out. I'm out of the contest.
- George Costanza: Well, I heard a noise.
- Jerry: What noise?
- George Costanza: You know, blah...
- Jerry: What blah?
- George Costanza: From the bathroom.
- Jerry: Oh, you think she was refunding?
- George Costanza: Every time we go out to eat the minute we we're done eating she's running to the bathroom.
- Elaine: So you're concerned?
- George Costanza: Elaine, of course I'm concerned... I'm payin' for those meals! It's like throwing money down the toilet!
- George Costanza: [George rushes into Jerry's apartment] Did anybody call here asking for Vandelay Industries?
- Jerry: No, what happened to you?
- George Costanza: All right, listen closely, I was at the unemployment office and I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandelay Industries, and I gave them your phone number. So now, when the phone rings, you have to answer "Vandelay Industries".
- Jerry: I'm Vandelay Industries?
- George Costanza: Right.
- Jerry: What is that?
- George Costanza: You're in latex.
- Jerry: What do I do with latex?
- George Costanza: I don't know, you manufacture it.
- Elaine: Right here in this little apartment?
- Jerry: And what do I say about you?
- George Costanza: You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman.
- Jerry: I'm gonna hire you as my latex salesman? I don't think so. Why would I do that?
- George Costanza: Because I asked you to.
- Jerry: If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit at a desk, pushing papers around, you can forget it. I get enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff.
- George Costanza: You don't think she'd yada yada sex?
- Elaine: [raising hand] I've yada yada'ed sex.
- George Costanza: Really?
- Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
- Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part.
- Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.
- Frank Costanza: My George isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.
- Elaine: You got that right.
- Frank Costanza: What the hell does that mean?
- Elaine: That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.
- Frank Costanza: You saying you want a piece of me?
- [hits his chest]
- Elaine: I could drop you like a bag of dirt.
- Frank Costanza: [yelling] You want a piece of me? You got it!
- Jerry: What are you saying?
- Elaine: I'm not saying anything.
- Jerry: You're saying something.
- Elaine: What could I be saying?
- Jerry: Well you're not saying nothing so you must me saying something.
- Elaine: If I were saying something, I would have said it.
- Jerry: So why don't you say it?
- Elaine: I said it.
- Jerry: What did you say?
- Elaine: Nothing.
- [Puddy is wearing a bright orange jacket with an 8 ball on it]
- Elaine: What's this? What happened to your fur?
- David Puddy: I saw Jerry wearing his. He looked like a bit of a dandy. Check this out. 8 ball. You got a question, you ask the 8 ball.
- Elaine: So you're going to wear this all the time?
- David Puddy: All signs point to yes.