Jesse Corti: Lefou

Beauty and the Beast

Lefou

Monsieur D'Arque: I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but he said you'd make it worth my while.
[Gaston presents him with a bag of money]
Monsieur D'Arque: Ah, I'm listening.
Gaston: It's like this: I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little--persuasion.
Lefou: [chuckles] Turned him down flat.
[Gaston hits him]
Gaston: Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight, raving about a beast in a *castle*.
Monsieur D'Arque: Maurice is harmless.
Gaston: The point is, Belle would do *anything* to keep him from being locked up.
Lefou: Yeah, even marry *him*.
[points at Gaston; ducks, covering his head with his flask when Gaston tries to hit him again]
Monsieur D'Arque: So you want me to throw her father into the asylum unless she agrees to marry you?
[Lefou nods eagerly]
Monsieur D'Arque: Oh, that is despicable.
[Chuckling evilly]
Monsieur D'Arque: I love it!

Gaston: [Gaston jumps in front of Belle] Hello, Belle.
Belle: Bonjour, Gaston.
[Gaston takes her book and rudely reads through it]
Belle: Gaston, may I have my book, please?
Gaston: How can you read this? There's no pictures!
Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.
Gaston: [Tosses the book in the puddle and Belle picks it back up] Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books and paid attention to more important things. Like me.
[Gaston smiles at Belle and the Bimbettes sigh at Gaston]
Gaston: The whole town's talking about it. It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking.
Belle: Gaston, you are positively primeval.
Gaston: Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern and take a look at my trophies?
Belle: Maybe some other time.
Bimbette: What's wrong with her? She's crazy! He's gorgeous!
Belle: Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye.
Lefou: That crazy old loon! He needs all the help he can get.
[Gaston and Lefou both laugh at Belle]
Belle: Don't talk about my father that way!
Gaston: Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!
[Pounds Lefou's head]
Belle: My father's not crazy. He's a genius!
[Belle's house blows and she runs home while Gaston and Lefou continue to laugh and he accidently slaps Lefou]

Lefou: [singing] Gaston is the best/and the rest is all drips!
[accidentally splashes a mug of beer on Gaston standing right behind him; Gaston punches him back]

Gaston: I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and--propose to the girl!
[chuckles as the men at his "wedding" laugh while the three Bimbettes pretend to sob]
Gaston: And *you*, Lefou! Now when Belle and I come out that door...
Lefou: Oh, I know, I know, I strike up the band!
[he starts conducting the wedding band and they play, but Gaston quickly shoves a tuba on Lefou's head]
Gaston: Not yet!
Lefou: [with a lisp] Sssorry!

[Gaston is face down in a mud wallow after Belle turns down his marriage proposal and Lefou conducts the wedding music very quickly and it ends. Lefou sees the pig on Gastons head]
Lefou: [sarcastically] So, how did it go?
Gaston: [grabs Lefou] I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that!
[throws Lefou in the mud]
Lefou: [to the pig] Touchy!
[the pig snorts in agreement]

Lefou: Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston, looking so down in the dumps/Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston/Even when taking your lumps/There's no man in town that's as admired as you/You're everyone's favorite guy/Everyone's awed and inspired by you/And it's not very hard to see why.
[a group of girls fawn over Gaston]
Lefou: No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one's neck is as incredibly thick as Gaston/For there's no man in town half as manly/Perfect, a pure paragon/You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley/And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on/No one's big like Gaston/A kingpin like Gaston/No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating.
Lefou: My, what a guy, that Gaston.