Jack Gable: What are you doing here? I sent you to Cleveland.

Jack Gates: I should kill you for that alone.

Jack Gates: I have to go to... Cleveland? Jesus, I hate Cleveland!

Jack Gable: I am dead! I'm in Hell! And my punishment, is to spend eternity on my own show!

[watching a scene from "Beyond Our Dreams"]

Cable Man: Geez, what a body!

Jack Gable: Laura is more than a body.

Cable Man: Laura?

Jack Gable: Laura Claybourne, she plays Rachel.

Cable Man: Sorry, you must really follow this shit.

Jack Gable: No, I write this shit.

Jack Gable: He's operating on people? He's an actor! Not even a good one!

Jack Gable: What's the rush? Where am I running to?

[chuckles]

[at an upscale party, a butler is bringing in a herd of deer]

Jack Gable: Not *deer*! *Beer*!