Father of the Bride (1991)
Steve Martin: George Banks
Photos
Quotes
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Stock Boy : [at a supermarket] Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing?
George : I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns.
Stock Boy : I'm sorry, sir. But you're going to have to pay for all twelve buns. They're not marked individually.
George : Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits...
Assistant Manager of Supermarket : [observing from the side] Get me security.
George : Who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink! Well, they're not ripping off *this* nit-wit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. George Banks is saying no!
Stock Boy : Who's George Banks?
George : Me!
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George : Well, that's the thing about life, is the surprises, the little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you.
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George : [voice-over] I thought maybe I should help smooth things over. So I took Bryan out for a drink. Thought we could have a talk, man-to-man. But as I sat there and listened to his side of the story... I realized this was a golden opportunity. If I ever wanted to get rid of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.
Bryan : You know those banana shakes she likes to make, right? Well, that's why I thought she'd like a blender. I guess I can see her point. I mean, a blender does suggest a certain... reference to sexual politics, but... I swear, it never entered my consciousness at the time.
George : I believe you.
Bryan : You do? Would you tell Annie that for me, Dad?
George : [voice-over] This was where I was gonna lower the boom. But instead, I looked into his weepy eyes and found my self saying:
George : Sure, I'll tell her.
Bryan : Oh, good! 'Cause I know whatever you say she'll believe.
George : [voice-over] Not only was I not getting rid of the kid... I now found myself talking him into staying.
George : You know, Bryan, Annie's a very passionate person. And passionate people tend to overreact at time. Annie comes from a long line of major overreactors. Me. I can definitely lose it. My mother. A nut. My grandfather. Stories about him were legendary. The good news, however, is that this overreacting... tends to get proportionately less by generation. So, your kids could be normal.
George : [voice-over] As if that wasn't enough, I went on.
George : But on the upside, with this passion... comes great spirit and individuality... which is probably one of the reasons you love Annie.
Bryan : That's what I love most about her.
George : [voice-over] That's when it hit me like a Mack truck. Annie was just like me, and Bryan was just like Nina. They were a perfect match.
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George : This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually for the past 22 years.
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[first lines]
George : I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own, my daughter's. Annie Banks Mackenzie. That's her married name: Mackenzie. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. Then comes the day when she wants to get her ears pierced, and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. From that moment on you're in a constant panic. You worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is, because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. That's the greatest fear of all, because, then you lose her. It was just six months ago that that happened here. Just six months ago, that the storm broke.
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George : [seeing the gift from Bryan's parents] Yikes. A whole car.
Annie : Dad? Dad? Dad, did you see what the Mackenzie's got us?
George : It's unbelievable. And you thought you'd never have a new car.
Annie : I know.
[sees him hiding a gift from her]
Annie : What's that?
George : It's nothing. It's just a gift I was thinking of giving you guys. It's something you said you didn't have, but you wanted.
Annie : Can I see it?
George : [gives it to her] Yeah, you know, it's, it's not a big, big gift of course.
Annie : [she opens it] It's a cappuccino maker!
George : Supposed to be a good one. That's what they said at the store. It's uh, top of the line. Makes great foam.
Annie : [kisses her dad] I couldn't love anything more.
George : My feelings exactly.
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George : [answering the phone] Hello?
Annie : Dad!
George : Hi! Where are you?
Annie : At the airport. Our plane's about to take off, but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Thank Mom for everything ok? Dad, I love you. I love you very much.
George : I love you too, sweetheart. Thanks for calling. And have a great honeymoon.
Annie : Thanks. I will. Bye.
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George : Who presents this woman? This woman? But she's not a woman. She's just a kid. And she's leaving us. I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and was leaving us, and something inside began to hurt.
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Nina Banks : [Waiting for Bryan to arrive] So, can you see him? What does he look like?
George : He just drove up.
Nina Banks : And?
George : He drove too fast.
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Nina Banks : [Nina comes to bail out George from the city lock-up] Hello, George.
George : Why do you look happy to see me in here, Nina?
Nina Banks : Happy? No, no, no. I'm not happy George. You think I was happy to tell everyone that I had to come down to the city jail and bail you out for stealing hot dog buns?
George : I wasn't stealing...
Nina Banks : Ah!
George : I was just...
Nina Banks : Ah! I'm going to have to ask you not to talk, or I'll have to call Officer What's-his-name over there. You've been more than I can handle, George. Annie's wedding is not a conspiracy against you. It's just a wedding. People have them every day in every country in the world. I know it'g going to be expensive, but: we don't go to Europe. We don't own fancy cars. I don't own expensive jewelry, so we can afford to have a big wedding.
George : Nina...
Nina Banks : I'll get you out of here on one condition, Banks: that you agree to the following. Now, repeat after me. "I, George Stanley Banks..."
George : [Swallowing his pride] I, George Stanley Banks...
Nina Banks : Promise to pull it together and act my age.
George : I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button...
Nina Banks : I don't unbutton my top collar...
George : Oh, no, you mean this bit here?
[Motions to her collar]
Nina Banks : [Feeling his, realizing she is right] I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, and unbuttoning my top collar button.
George : I will stop making faces in general, and I will certainly stop telling everyone I meet how much this wedding is costing.
Nina Banks : I don't tell everyone how much it costs!
[Officer clears throat]
Nina Banks : He told you, right?
Nina Banks : $250 a head?
Nina Banks : Oh, well thanks.
George : I will try to remember my daughter's feelings, and how, with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.
Nina Banks : I love you, Nina.
Nina Banks : Just repeat the last bit.
George : I will try to remember my daughter's feelings, and how, with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.
Nina Banks : I love you too. Let's go home, okay?
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Annie : Listen, I'm going to take Bryan for a drive and show him around.
Nina Banks : Okay, honey. Good.
George : Annie, it's a little nippy out. You might want to put on a sweater.
Annie : No, Dad, it's okay. I'm kind of warm.
George : There's a chill in the air, and you've been on a plane.
Annie : Dad, I'm fine.
Bryan : Annie, it is kind of cold out.
Annie : It is?
George : Yeah.
Annie : Alright. Thanks. I'll get my jacket.
George : [in voiceover] Right then, I realized my day had passed. She'll always love me, of course, but not in the same way. I was no longer the man in my little girl's life. I was like an old shoe, the kind we manufacture and get all excited about and then, after a few years, discontinue. That was me now: Mr. Discontinued.
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Franck Eggelhoffer : Uh-oh, I bring the wrong color thread. I assumed you'd be wearing a black "tuxado."
George : It is a black "tuxado."
Franck Eggelhoffer : I don't think so, babe. This tux is "nuffy" blue. No doubt about it.
George : What're you talking about? Armani doesn't make a blue tuxedo.
Franck Eggelhoffer : Armani don't also make "polyaster."
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Howard Weinstein : [on the phone] Mr. Banks, this is Howard Weinstein. Franck's Executive Assistant. I... ave... your estimate for you.
George : I can barely hear you!
Howard Weinstein : I'm in my car going through Water Canyon. Call you back?
George : No, no, no. I want the estimate. How much? What's the damage?
Howard Weinstein : Well, everything from the flowers, to the honeymoon limo...
George : Ok, everything. How much?
Howard Weinstein : [cutting out] - dred and - ifty a -ead.
George : You're breaking up. It sounded like you said 150 a head.
Howard Weinstein : No, no!
George : Good. I was about to kill myself.
Howard Weinstein : It's 250 a head.
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Matty Banks : Right, together. Left, together. Right, together.
George : Matty, you're up pretty late, aren't ya?
Matty Banks : Yeah, I know I'm just practicing. I wish I didn't have to walk Mom down the aisle.
George : Don't worry, you'll be great.
Matty Banks : Is it right, together, left or left, together, right?
George : Well, let's try it. Let's see, we go right together, left together. Good. Matty, I'm sorry if I've been preoccupied lately with this wedding.
Matty Banks : It's ok.
George : Yeah, but I have, haven't I?
Matty Banks : It's all right. I understand.
George : Yeah, but...
Matty Banks : Yeah, ya have. But I haven't felt ignored or anything. Don't worry Dad. No permanent damage done.
George : Oh, well, good.
Annie : [in the background] It's really cute and cozy and in a great neighborhood. You'll see it. I am really excited. I've got all this packing to do, and this room looks so different.
Matty Banks : It's gonna be weird, isn't it? Just you and me and Mom here now.
George : Yeah. Come on. Goodnight pal. Sleep tight.
Matty Banks : Good luck tomorrow dad.
George : Yeah, you too.
Matty Banks : Annie?
Annie : Yeah?
Matty Banks : Goodnight.
Annie : Goodnight, Matty. I love you.
Matty Banks : I love you too.
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Andrea - the Florist : In terms of the florals out front, we're going to color-coordinate with the swans, right?
George : Swans?
Nina Banks : Oh, I think it'd be wonderful.
Andrea - the Florist : Perfect.
George : We're having swans?
Annie : Oh, sure, Franck thought it'd be great to have swans waddling around the tulip border, you know, as the guests enter.
George : Nina, we don't have a tulip border.
Andrea - the Florist : You will.
[hands George the bill]
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George : I thought you didn't believe in marriage. I thought it meant a woman lost her identity. I thought you wanted to get a job before you settled down so you could earn money and be your own person.
Annie : All right, hold on. I didn't think I believed in marriage until I met Bryan. Bryan's not like any other guy I've ever known. I want to be married to him. And I'm not going to lose my identity with him because he's not some overpowering, macho guy. He's like you, Dad! Except he's brilliant. He happens to love that I'm going to be an architect. He wants me to design a house for us to live in. He said he'd move anywhere I got a job. Give me a little credit, George. I'm not going to marry some ape who wants me to wear go-go boots and an apron. I'm telling you, you'll love him. He's a genius. And sweet. And I love him more than anything in the world.
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Matty Banks : Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
George : You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.
Annie : Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding.
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George : Twelve hundred dollars?
Franck Eggelhoffer : Vell, Mr. Banks. Dis is a very risonable price for a cake of dis magnitude.
George : A cake, Franck, is made of flour and water. My first car didn't cost twelve hundred dollars.
Franck Eggelhoffer : Vell, velcome to the nineties, Mr. Bonk!
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Nina Banks : Good news. The church is free!
George : Oh, finally something is free.
Nina Banks : I meant - available.
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Assistant Manager of Supermarket : Why don't we just calm down now, sir.
George : I'll tell you why *"we"* don't calm down, because you're not excited! It takes two people for a "we" to calm down, doesn't it?
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George : Cops?
Franck Eggelhoffer : I heard. Ve'll handle this together. I've got George. Ve're on our vay. Come on George, pick it up, pick it up. Let me handle dis, George. Give me your wallet.
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George : This is ridiculous! You're - too young to get married!
Annie : Too young? Dad, I'm 22! If I'm not mistaken, that's a year older than Mom was when you guys got married.
George : That is absolutely not true.
Nina Banks : Oh, no, you're absolutely wrong.
George : You were this age when I married you?
Nina Banks : No. I was younger. I was this age when she was born.
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Annie : He's an independent communications consultant.
George : Independent?
Annie : Yes.
George : That's code for unemployed! This is perfect! You meet an unemployed, amazingly brilliant non-ape that I'm going to have to support! I suppose I'm going to have to hire him and fire some hard working guy with three kids because my son-in-law, the "independent communications consultant," can't get a job anywhere else! No wonder he'll move anywhere you get a job!
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Nina Banks : I thought it was totally sincere.
George : Oh, please. What about that little rehearsed speech he gave that was right out of a book, "How to Grease Your Future Mother-In-Law."
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George : What about the way he kept touching her?
Nina Banks : What do you mean?
George : What do you mean, what do I mean? He couldn't keep his hands off of her.
Nina Banks : Oh, yes, kind of like when we were engaged, except that wasn't all you couldn't keep off me.
George : That was different. And we certainly never acted that way in your parent's house.
Nina Banks : Oh! You want me to name all the rooms we did it in at my parent's house?
George : That was different!
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George : I hate that expression, "in-laws." What does it mean, anyway? We're legally bound to these people? I don't want to be "in-lawed." Especially to people who live in Bel-Air. I mean, what kind of people have brunch and live in Bel-Air?
Nina Banks : Rich people.
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George : You and I could end up shuffling along the sidewalk in our bathrobes. That was a joke.
Nina Banks : [sarcastically] Hilarious!
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George : This gift says nothing about how he feels about you. It's just a thing to put in the kitchen. He thought you might want to blend something one day and that's all.
