[first lines]

Col. Volcar: Ah, Mr. Hawkes. I heard you were here in Juarez.

Brady Hawkes: And I heard that you were patrolling this neck of the woods. My information was good.

Col. Volcar: What's good is when a man can mix business with pleasure.

Brady Hawkes: My business is your pleasure, unless you're too tired to play.

Burgundy Jones: You know Judge, we have no greater friend in this world than Ethan Cassidy.

Judge Roy Bean: Then you can walk right out to my gallows and say goodbye to your friend. Now, let's get back to the races.

Mize: Those dime novels which do nothing but glorify their subjects are a thing of the past, Mr. Earp. Now, my publisher wants the facts behind the legend; the real Wyatt Earp, warts and all, Mr. Marshal.

Marshal Wyatt Earp: I don't know that warts is how I want to be remembered, Mr. Mize.

Brady Hawkes: Looks like I found some military firepower down here.

Cheyenne: The grenades? Sure, I don't reckon the army would mind giving us a hand.

Cheyenne: Life's an adventure. Things have been pretty quiet for me lately. Good to get the old heart pumping again.

The Director: They've sent us another actor over here who can't even ride.

Mark McCain: Well, they all say that they can't wear the mask and ride at the same time.

The Director: That doesn't matter. The sun is out.

Diamond Jim Brady: It's possible. It's possible. Of course, that's what Custer said.

Burgundy Jones: So did Crazy Horse.

The Westerner: Well, sir, the end of the west is near.

Lute Cantrell: Get out of the way, Chinaman, or you're dead.

Caine: Death is nothing to one who does not fear it.

Brady Hawkes: Mr. President, I'm surprised to see that you play poker in public.

President Theodore Roosevelt: Well, I wouldn't miss a chance to compete against the finest.

Sir Colin: We welcome your money, sir.

Bart Maverick: As long as it is yours and not the tax payers'.

[last lines]

Brady Hawkes: What was that?

Burgundy Jones: Earthquake.

Brady Hawkes: There's no such thing as earthquakes in San Francisco.

Brady Hawkes: Lucas McCain. You haven't slowed down a bit, have you?

Lucas McCain: I'm doing the best I can.

Lucas McCain: Brady, why were they chasing you?

Burgundy Jones: Card game.

Brady Hawkes: Actually, it was a difference in opinion in a card game.

Ethan Cassidy: A man of values never places his business above friendship.

Brady Hawkes: This was a friendship based on business.

Theo: Wyatt Earp will be on the lookout now that we already hit the bank.

Cade Dalton: Theo, he's an old man.

Theo: But he's still Wyatt Earp.

Col. Volcar: Senorita Burgundy, I am afraid you have embarrassed me, the Mexican army, and El Presidente; whom I faithfully serve. Under these unfortunate circumstances...

Burgundy Jones: Colonel, if you're going to hang us, won't you just get to it? But don't make us sit here and listen to all of your pompous lies.

Brady Hawkes: Colonel, I think what she means...

Col. Volcar: No need to apologize, Senor. Senorita Burgundy is right about my lies. What she is wrong about is the hanging. I am not going to hang you. I'm going to shoot you. Then I'm going to cut your head off to set an example.

Lucas McCain: Moving pictures. What the Hell's this world coming to, huh?

Marshal Wyatt Earp: Son, like the man said, when legend becomes fact, print the legend.

The Director: Mark.

Mark McCain: Yes, sir?

The Director: Put on the mask. Put it on.

Mark McCain: You mean...

The Director: Yes, I mean put on the mask.

[hands Mark the Lone Ranger mask]

Cade Dalton: Here we are surrounded by beautiful muchachas and you two can't keep your hands off each other? I oughta kill you both just for being two big dumb redneck peckerwoods.

Brady Hawkes: We're almost to the end of our journey.

Caine: The ultimate quest has no ending. That is what gives the quest its ultimate value.

Burgundy Jones: I love it when he talks like that.

Bart Maverick: I'm definitely not the best poker player in the Maverick family.

Sir Colin: Sorry to do this to you on your home ground, old boy. But then again, there's no good place for defeat.

Brady Hawkes: You know, Sir Colin, there are very few things as satisfying as watching real artist play and you are truly that. One thing that may be though is beating that artist.

Brady Hawkes: Gambling's not really about money. It's just our way of keeping score.

Cookie: I would love to give that fool a wiff of 'Gunsmoke'. Run his 'Maverick' butt right off this 'Wagon Train'. Of course he's probably already wanted 'Dead or Alive by some lawman. I Wish Diamond Jim would get rid of him, Settle down in some 'Big Valley'. Build a 'Little House on the Prairie' surrounded by 'High Chaparral'. That would be a real 'Bonanza' for me. I'm getting to old for this 'Wild Wild West'. I better get those doggies rollin' before these stakes start turning into 'Rawhide'.