Scenes from a Mall (1991)
Woody Allen: Nick
Photos
Quotes
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[looking for his car in the mall parking garage]
Nick Fifer : Where's my fucking Saab?
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Nick Fifer : How many 16th anniversaries does a person have in a lifetime? One... maybe two.
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Deborah Fifer : Do you really hate this dress?
Nick Fifer : What I really hate is this jacket, this white jacket. I look like a Brazilian gigolo.
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[On mimes]
Nick Fifer : These guys are worse than Hare Krishnas!
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Nick Fifer : Well, now I feel like the scumbag of all time.
Deborah Fifer : You are.
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Nick Fifer : I don't know how our marriage lasted.
Deborah Fifer : Mutual death wish.
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Nick Fifer : Eleven hundred bucks for Sushi already. That's a lot of dead fish.
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[Examining his Stress Age chewing gum]
Nick Fifer : Christ, the gum is jet black already.
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[after tough negotiations with a tennis prodigy's mother]
Nick Fifer : I think Mrs. Fong is Jewish.
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[Deborah wants to give Nick his Christmas present]
Deborah Fifer : I have something to get you out of your midlife crisis.
Nick Fifer : That can only mean a full-body vibrator!
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[Nick's given Deborah a family photo with an antique frame]
Nick Fifer : I had to have it engraved, because I could never remember your name.
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[On an affair Nick had]
Nick Fifer : I liked her. I loved the sex.
Deborah Fifer : [scornful] Oh. So, you LOVE me, but you only LIKE the sex.
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Nick Fifer : Your constant interrupting of me...
Deborah Fifer : Please! In sixteen years, I've never finished a sentence.
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Deborah Fifer : How about those two beautiful creatures? Think you can handle them?
Nick Fifer : Handle them? I can salivate over them.
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Nick Fifer : You look like my Aunt Minna in that dress!
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[Last lines]
Nick Fifer : [defensive] Am I the kind of guy who loses his temper?
Deborah Fifer : Please! You smashed the mime in the jaw!
Nick Fifer : [defensive] I gave him 100 bucks...