Scenes from a Mall (1991)

Woody Allen: Nick

Photos 

Quotes 

• [looking for his car in the mall parking garage] 

  Nick Fifer : Where's my fucking Saab?

• Nick Fifer : How many 16th anniversaries does a person have in a lifetime? One... maybe two.

• Deborah Fifer : Do you really hate this dress?

  Nick Fifer : What I really hate is this jacket, this white jacket. I look like a Brazilian gigolo.

• [On mimes] 

  Nick Fifer : These guys are worse than Hare Krishnas!

• Nick Fifer : Well, now I feel like the scumbag of all time.

  Deborah Fifer : You are.

• Nick Fifer : I don't know how our marriage lasted.

  Deborah Fifer : Mutual death wish.

• Nick Fifer : Eleven hundred bucks for Sushi already. That's a lot of dead fish.

• [Examining his Stress Age chewing gum] 

  Nick Fifer : Christ, the gum is jet black already.

• [after tough negotiations with a tennis prodigy's mother] 

  Nick Fifer : I think Mrs. Fong is Jewish.

• [Deborah wants to give Nick his Christmas present] 

  Deborah Fifer : I have something to get you out of your midlife crisis.

  Nick Fifer : That can only mean a full-body vibrator!

• [Nick's given Deborah a family photo with an antique frame] 

  Nick Fifer : I had to have it engraved, because I could never remember your name.

• [On an affair Nick had] 

  Nick Fifer : I liked her. I loved the sex.

  Deborah Fifer : [scornful]  Oh. So, you LOVE me, but you only LIKE the sex.

• Nick Fifer : Your constant interrupting of me...

  Deborah Fifer : Please! In sixteen years, I've never finished a sentence.

• Deborah Fifer : How about those two beautiful creatures? Think you can handle them?

  Nick Fifer : Handle them? I can salivate over them.

• Nick Fifer : You look like my Aunt Minna in that dress!

• [Last lines] 

  Nick Fifer : [defensive]  Am I the kind of guy who loses his temper?

  Deborah Fifer : Please! You smashed the mime in the jaw!

  Nick Fifer : [defensive]  I gave him 100 bucks...