Switch (1991)
Bruce Payne: The Devil
Photos
Quotes
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The Devil : Excuse me.
The Devil : I wish to lodge a complaint.
God , God : What is it this time?
The Devil : I have as much right to Steve Brooks' soul as you do.
God : That's why I sent him back. If he can't find one female who likes him, then his soul is yours.
The Devil : Well, that's not a fair test. He'll pick some helpless, unsuspecting female, pretend to be everything he's not. In the end, she'll adore him. And you'll be honor abound to admit an unregenerate debaucher into Heaven.
God : What do you suggest?
The Devil : Teach him a lesson. And at the same time, make it impossible for him to work his macho machinations onto any more unsuspecting female.
God , God : And how do I do that?
The Devil : Easy. Make him a woman.
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Amanda Brooks : What is that smell?
The Devil : Brimstone. You'll get used to it after a few hundred years.
Amanda Brooks : Who in hell are you?
The Devil : Who in hell do you think I am?
Amanda Brooks : You look like the Devil.
The Devil : Well, you don't look good yourself. Ha! Just a little Netherworld humor there.
Amanda Brooks : Hilarious. What do you want?
The Devil : You. Your time's up.
Amanda Brooks : Say's who?
The Devil : Have you found one female who liked Steve Brooks?
Amanda Brooks : Well, I haven't talked to them all yet.
The Devil : You'd just be wasting your time. You see, I know who they are. And they all think Steve Brooks is a selfish, inconsiderate, unredeemable, male chauvinist pig.
Amanda Brooks : I don't believe you. You're not to be trusted. You're the Devil, Anyway, you know, He/She didn't give me any time table on this thing.
The Devil : Look, you hate being a woman, right?
Amanda Brooks : Well...
The Devil : There's no fun in PMS or shaving your legs. And what do have to look forward to? Guys like you used to be always trying to get into your pants. Cellulite, menopause. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Right now, there's a shortage of good recruiters. I bet there's not a man alive who wouldn't sell his soul for the chance to jump in the sack with you.
Amanda Brooks : Forget it!
The Devil : Sooner or later, I'm going to get you anyway. Come along now, and I'll guarantee you a hell of a time.
Amanda Brooks : If you're going to get me anyway, I'd just as soon it was later and not sooner.
The Devil : Terrible sight to see a beautiful body like yours go through a meltdown.
Amanda Brooks : What?
The Devil : Tell you what: you want to hedge your bet with me? Make eternity a little less hellish.
Amanda Brooks : What did you have in mind?
The Devil : Did you see Rosemary's Baby?
Amanda Brooks : Yeah. What? No, no, I can't! See, I'm expecting my period. I can't. I can't.
