Bobby Generic: Hush little baby, don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird, and if that mocking bird don't sing... I'm gonna rip off his feathers and tear off his wings!
[at a wedding, after someone points him the best man:]
Bobby Generic: If he's the best man, why isn't she marrying him?
Martha Generic: Gee golly Bobby don't you know?
Bobby Generic: I thought only boys had tentacles.