Eddie: This is a sex shop isn't it?

Shop Assistant: Yes.

Eddie: [slaps money down] I'll have five quid's worth then!

Shop Assistant: Very droll sir, I've never heard that one before.

Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?

Shop Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.

Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.

Richie: [on various occasions seducing women, well, trying anyway] May I say, what a SMASHING blouse you have on?