Jamie Buchman: Oh my god, don't ever die. 'Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and make the face of heaven so fine that all the world would be in love with night.' Did I ever tell you I played Juliet in the fifth grade? I did. Opposite Steven Palumbo's Romeo. Oy. What an actor he was. He started crying during my monologue when he was supposed to be dead, because he said I was leaning on his arm. Oh my god, don't ever die. I have so much more to tell you, and I'm not interested in telling it to anyone else. And I'm not saying I'd be helpless. I mean, I'm bright and fairly good with money. I mean, I guess I'm cute, right? You would say, 'What, are you kidding me? You, my little friend, are a perfect example of beautiful.' And so I am. ' Cause I am nothing more or less than what I see in your eyes when you look at me. Do you know how long I waited for you? My mother used to say I was too picky, or afraid of commitment, and that's why I was still unmarried by the age of almost 30. But the truth is, I was just looking for you. Do you know how close I came to being a narrow, cold, mistrustful woman? But you have given me a life so big and full and good... and fun! I don't even know what we do, really, besides clean up and complain and wish we were sleeping, but with you, somehow... fun. And I'll tell you a secret. When we got married, I couldn't imagine still wanting to be with anyone all this time later. But I do. It's a miracle to me. You are a miracle. You've made me happy. Which is something I never, ever thought I'd be.
Jamie Buchman: We're having lasagna. There is a recipe in the back of a Rice Krispies box.
Paul Buchman: Why would a mango *need* body wash?
Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys ALWAYS want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.
Ursula Buffay: [while explaining her campaign for Employee of the Month] Ursula, Ursula, she's our man! If she's not Employee of the Month, no-one can! I have to go to the bathroom.