8 May 2003 | cchase
"Hope This Series Won't Come Back...Do Dah...Do Dah..."
I know it seems kind of dishonest to comment on a movie if you haven't seen it all the way through, but trust me on this one, kids...you don't need to see this turkey all the way through to know how bad it truly is. I pride myself on being pretty knowledgeable about good movies and even good BAD movies, and this is no PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE. At least that was entertaining in its own genuinely loopy way.
They should feature this movie in a class on how NOT to write a screenplay. You can see foreshadowing from a hundred miles away, and plot points fall into place with all the subtlety of an anvil falling on Wile E. Coyote's noggin. Case in point: the mean, stalkerish ex-hubby vs. our title character. The only way you wouldn't know how that bout would end up, is if you've NEVER SEEN A MOVIE BEFORE! And the whole thing with 'Bad Ex' threatening good ol' 'Stepfather,' as he's turning his flower bed with a BIG shovel??? The filmmakers must've thought the only people more stupid than the jerky ex, would be the audience. And they'd be absolutely right...if you bothered watching this dog turd beyond this point, which I'm happy to say I didn't.
Had I paid for the rental, I may have bitten the bullet to get my money's worth out of it, but it was on Showtime late night. Meaning I could channel surf over to a really GOOD movie, even one that's been on about a thousand times. Like the first NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, which I'm sure I've seen about a thousand times and still enjoyed it.
Well, thanks to STEPFATHER 3, make that a thousand and one.
So, if you want to respect yourself in the morning, do what Terry O'Quinn did way before me. Skip this mess. And if you see it sitting next to MALICE, or JURRASIC PARK or even PLAN NINE at the video store, and nothing else is in, do yourself a favor...RENT THE OTHER MOVIE.