Toys (1992)

To write a long critique of this film is tempting. When you spend two hours watching a movie there is the desire to see some new awareness or understanding as a result.

Toys just has nothing to say. The colors in most scenes are intense, but they can't make the movie compelling. There is no message. Worse, the movie excludes all audiences.

1. There is too much sexual inuendo and conflict for little kids

2. The characters are too thin and embarassingly simple to appeal to adults.

I admit to watching the whole movie. I have heard it called the "train wreck" effect. You just can't take your eyes away from the disaster. Your heart says it has to get better, that it will have some clever twist at the end. "Toys" is never clever. It is horrifying to watch as there seems to be no end to the childish behavior of the characters. Not greed or envy - the childish emotions. No, just characters that act goofy and silly.

"Toys" just does not work. The movie feels akward and it leaves you feeling empty in the end.

If there ever was a movie that REQUIRED narcotics to enjoy it, "Toys" may be that one. Other activities that are better with drugs? Surgery, dentistry, unemployment, imprisonment, psychosis, . . .

Watch "Toys" to understand what a 1 star movie is. I used to wonder why every movie seems to get at least two stars from the critcs. Now, I can see that they must reserve the honor of one star for ill-concieved cinematic mistakes like "Toys"