Michael: [answering phone] The boring residence of Miss Mary Ann Singleton
Mary Ann Singleton: [grabbing receiver] MICHAEL!
Mary Ann's Mother: Mary Ann?
Mary Ann Singleton: oh... Hi Mom.
[takes phone into bedroom]
Mary Ann's Mother: Oh my God. We haven't heard from you in weeks.
Mary Ann Singleton: Sorry. It's been hectic.
Mary Ann's Mother: Who was that man?
Mary Ann Singleton: Who? Oh. Michael. Heeeee's...
Mary Ann's Mother: What's his last name?
Mary Ann Singleton: What?
Mary Ann's Mother: His last name Mary Ann. Don't you KNOW his last name? Oh my God... I saw something like this on "McMillan and Wife" just last week and...
Mary Ann Singleton: [walking out of bedroom holding receiver aloft for Mona and Michael to hear] What difference does it make what his last name is?
Mary Ann's Mother: You know darling, your father and I were talking and we thought you deserved a chance to try your wings. But we can't just let you throw your life away.
Mary Ann Singleton: It's my life to throw Mom.
Mary Ann's Mother: No it's not. Not when you apparently don't have the maturity to...
Mary Ann Singleton: Well how would you know?
Mary Ann's Mother: Mary Ann, a strange man answered the phone.
Mary Ann Singleton: He's not a strange man Mom. He's a homosexual
[mouthing "shhhhhhh" to Mona and Michael as Mona makes devil's antennae over Michael's head]
Mary Ann's Mother: WHAT?
Mary Ann Singleton: I know you've heard of them. They have them on TV now!
Anna Madrigal: Welcome to my little bordello.
[Mona opens Michael's door to find him in bed with Jon]
Mona Ramsay: Hi, I'm Nancy Drew. You must be the Hardy Boys.
Mona Ramsay: Mouse. Jesus. I figured you got kidnapped by the CIA.
Michael: Long time, huh?
Mona Ramsay: Three months.
Michael: Yeah, that's about my average.
Mona Ramsay: Oh, you got the shaft?
Michael: Well, we parted amiably enough. He was terribly civilized about it and I sat in Lafayette Park and cried all morning. Yeah, I got the shaft.
Mrs. Madrigal: He's a sweet boy, Mona. I approve of him wholeheartedly.
Mona Ramsay: You make it sound like we're married or something.
Mrs. Madrigal: There are all kinds of marriages, dear.
Mona Ramsay: I don't think you understand the trip with me and Michael.
Mrs. Madrigal: Mona, lots of things are more binding than sex. They last longer too.
Mary Ann's Mother: Hellooo?
Mary Ann Singleton: Mom, It's me.
Mary Ann's Mother: What's the matter did you miss your plane?
Mary Ann Singleton: No. I didn't
Mary Ann's Mother: You know darling we were just talking about you...
Mary Ann Singleton: Would you call Mr. Lassiter and say I won't be in on Monday?
Mona Ramsay: Michael, I think D'orothea has a drug problem.
Michael: What makes you think that?
Mona Ramsay: Yesterday I was in her study on the phone calling information trying to get her parents phone number and home address in Oakland when I found a horde of these totally unidentifiable capsules in her desk drawer while I was looking for a pen to write down her parents address. And later when I asked her about the pills, she started acting really... jumpy.
Michael: Has she been acting jumpy otherwise?
Mona Ramsay: Well... no, not exactly.
Michael: Then it's probably nothing. Relax.
Mona Ramsay: I can't. I'm saving my last Quaalude for Christmas Eve.