Roy Darpinian
Ned Bleuer
Scott Foreman
Harvey Darpinian
Roy's Father
Arturo Gallo
Antonio Gallo
Becky O'Brien
Photographer
Ned's Mother
6-Year-Old Ned (as Blake McIver Ewing)
6-Year-Old Scott
6-Year-Old Roy
6-Year-Old Becky
Howdy Doody Mom
12-Year-Old Ned
12-Year-Old Scott
12 Year-Old Roy (as Kevin Michaels)
Nurse
Pipsqueak
Young Boxer (as Jason Brown)
Twin
Sylvia
Delphine
Man in Bathrobe
Mrs. Macdonald
Nude Woman / Marilyn Monroe
Officer
Farmer
Marilyn Monroe
Chubby Checker
Usher
Tattoo Artist
PCH Officer
Melissa Smock (as Christine Joan Taylor)
Marilyn Monroe (voice)
Howdy Doody Contest Mom (uncredited)
Movie Watcher (uncredited)
Fighter (uncredited)
Bobby Kennedy Jr. (uncredited)