User Reviews (35)

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  • Nukie. It's a bad E.T. ripoff filmed in Africa, with production (and some footage) handled in Germany. It's in English, so I'm not sure where the targeted market was. Nukie and his brother Meeko are ugly little aliens with big heads and runny noses who fly through space using some sort of personal energy rather than ships. They are tempted by the beauty of the earth, fly too close, and crash. Nukie lands in Africa and is relatively unharmed; Meeko lands in the United States and is immediately picked up by NASA. At least, I think it's NASA. Its logo appears in several places, but the stock-footage building exterior is definitely not NASA. Nor is it ever called `NASA'. It's called the Space Foundation. And there are beer cans in the break room! But since NASA is the only space agency in the U.S., that's what it has to be.

    Scene after scene begins with an exterior shot of `NASA'. The voice-over gives the date and time (sometimes the times don't synch with the amount of daylight shown), and more often than not he follows with `nothing unusual to report' before telling us that Meeko has escaped or some such. If that's not unusual, I don't know what is.

    While Meeko suffers in America, Nukie meets the quirky inhabitants of a small village in Africa. He befriends twin boys named Tookie and Tiko, and a chimp named Charlie. Nukie and the boys search for `America', which they think is the name of the evil-doer who is holding Meeko. They must avoid an American chopper pilot working for NASA (watch out - he's a `player'), local poachers, and a pesky nun (Glynis Johns) while they do so. It all ends happily, of course, because this is a kids' movie. Nukie and Meeko fly into space amidst stock footage of fireworks, and they bring along one of their new friends from Earth. Who is the friend? You'll have to watch the movie to find out!

    The producers must've expected a big demand for Nukie merchandise, because every time the word appears it has the little `TM' after it. `Nukie' is trademarked, for crying out loud; none may use his name without permission. I doubt the demand for merchandise materialized, otherwise we might be seeing Nukie lunchboxes and action figures for sale in thrift stores.

    People don't believe me when I tell them this, but I kind of like Nukie. Did you ever have a friend who was your friend just because you felt sorry for them? I like Nukie because I feel sorry for it. I think it needs a friend.
  • This film is quite possibly the worst movie ever made. I still cannot believe how horrible this movie was. The acting was terrible. The sound was painful. The camera never moved. This film is the exact opposite of everything a good movie is. Nukie is painful enough to make small children cower in the corner for days and make grown men weep. I watched this film with my little brother and we had to stop 30 minutes in because he was literally getting sick to his stomach. By all means, if you watch this movie do NOT watch it alone or in the vicinity of sharp objects. This film is only for those who are brave of heart. Therapy may be needed after viewing.
  • Here's what I can say: this movie is SO BAD. NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SEE THIS MOVIE. I try to see all the bad movies I can, and this tops them all. It's not even funny to mock, it's just that bad. It's a test of patience. Even if you think you wanna see this movie, you really don't. I'll leave you with a bit of the wit from this movie; while the scientists are taking miko's pulse with the x-ray machine, they still don't know whether he's an animal, mineral, or vegetable. Go back over that last sentence again. Yes. That actually does happen in the movie. Honestly, when I finally finished this movie I felt like dying(it took me a while because I watched about the first half hour and needed to stop on account of the utter idiocy of this movie). It is terrible. I can't stress that enough. And now I speak directly to the people who like watching bad movies: I know you've seen movie that people have told you not to see, but skip this one. It hurts to watch.
  • Nukie is widely regarded as the worst/most painful movie ever made. No one who has seen it denies this assertion. It tops even the infamous Manos: the Hands of Fate. As a result, it has a bit of a cult following, the way Kali, the Hindu goddess of death has a bit of a cult following.

    The astounding thing about Nukie is its ability to cram so much stupidity into so little time. You find yourself watching a scene, realizing that every line and every action is utterly without merit, wishing the scene would just END--then it does, and a new scene begins, equally stupid, and you realize that the last scene's eternity was really only about 30 seconds long, and this movie is about 90 minutes. That's when you look for pointy objects to thrust violently into sensitive body parts as a distraction.

    The other thing about Nukie, the one that leaves me in awe, is its ability to top itself in brain-killing idiocy. The movie crushes Barney's foolishness 30 seconds in, stomps Teletubbies in minutes, and after that, it's home free in the race for cerebral vacuum creation. Despite this, every 15 minutes--or less--a scene comes along which makes your jaw drop as it rockets the movie to a new depth of idiocy. Just when you think the movie has reached its nadir, a character begins dancing, or one of the aliens demonstrates a new power, or the computer learns a new lesson about feelings, and your brain tries to escape the pain by squeezing out of your skull through the pores in the bone.

    It's a truly unique experience.
  • I have seen many movies in my time, many good, many bad. About 2 years ago my friends and I began watching films that could fall under the "so bad it's good" category, an often amusing, but none the less hit and miss approach to entertainment. After much thought I have concluded that 'Nukie' is in a class entirely of its own.

    'Nukie' is in ways astonishing, in that it seems to melt the brain of those that watch it into a messy syrup. What makes Nukie so brutally awful is hard to pinpoint, but the main issues seem to be in the characters, and the overall pace of the movie. The characters are nauseating to say the least, with the tortured, draining whimpers of aliens' Nukie and Miko becoming a motif throughout the course of the film. The Nukie costume is an assault on the senses, with a vulgar 'groin bump' and Hitler snot too, the 'hero' is not the cute extra-terrestrial the videos box promises at all. The plot is non existent, and whenever the story seems to be getting somewhere something horrific happens that seems to shoot down all the progress that damn alien has made (if any). Whats more, 'Nukie' has the bizarre quality of slowing down time, making this the most agonizing 95 minutes of you life.

    I bought a 'Nukie' video for $2 and was hoping for a movie to tear to pieces with my friends. We lasted about 20 minutes before it got us. I think others who have seen this will understand.

    Not only is 'Nukie' the worst film I have seen, it is the worst film I will EVER see.

    Be prepared.

    Miko!
  • I completely agree with the other person who reviewed this movie. The reason I saw it was the same thing -- the box looked like it could be really funny and maybe have a few good absurd weird things in it. It turned out to be one of the most unpleasant maddening movies I have ever seen. I strongly reccommend that no parent ever show to this to their child. I can't imagine a normal child taking any joy out of this movie, because there IS no joy in this movie. The whole movie is about suffering. Nukie almost dies several times, and his brother is being tortured by scientists while he begs and cries in pain. This is suppossed to be a fun kids movie but there is nothing light-hearted about it. It is so intense and painful, only showcasing the miseries and trauma of life. Even more disturbing is it's strange political subtext. At one point in the movie, an African child and Nukie are in desperate need of aid. They are lost and tired and looking for America (this is where Nukie's brother is being "imprisoned.") The African child cries out "AMERICA! SAVE US!" Could this be a commentary on how America treats other nations, or "aliens"? What about the name, "NUKIE"? "Nuke"?

    Only see this movie if you and friends are looking for absurd, kind of funny, yet painful puzzles to try and figure out (which is what I do)
  • Without a doubt, bar none, unequivocally the worst film ever conceived by Man. Watching this film is an exercise in pure masochism. "Nukie" doesn't even have the "so bad it's good" charm of other horrible wastes of celluloid such as "Troll 2" or "Hobgoblins." The title character actually looks like a cross between a retarded bushbaby, a rotten potato, and a burlap sack full of horse manure. It's obvious that the creators of this film were envisioning an ET-like so-ugly-he's-cute character, with delusions of multi-million dollar licensing deals, lunchboxes and action figure lines. What they ended up with was a hideous monkey-faced monstrosity straight out of your worst Lovecraftian nightmare. This film is a horrible blight on the history of Mankind. It is pure torture and should not be viewed at any time by any human being whatsoever. I've made it my life's work to track down the unholy Sias Odendal, director of this film, and beat him senseless for his crimes against humanity. I blame "Nukie" for destroying my life and utterly shattering any hope that I may have had for the future of our civilization. Early on in the film, one of the "Space Foundation" scientists utters the line "This actually should not exist!" That is precisely how I feel about this film. I hate God for allowing this film to be made.

    In the immortal words of Tom Servo, "I'd slap this movie if I could."
  • The pain is the only thing that will distract you from the terminal suck of the movie. The plot line is like watching actors trying to break out of their usual roles of downs syndrome porn and the main character looks like a deep-fried shag carpet soaked in cheese made rancid manlove to ET's bastard cousin. It goes downhill from there. Wrought with so many plot holes I felt like my teeth were being jarred from their sockets just from the righteous fury, I felt the minutes this movie was bleeding from my life dripping out of my soul. I feel that if I look down I will see the tattered remains of the person I was before I saw this movie floating in a pool of my lost humanity.
  • "Nukie" is a celluloid cesspool. Forget about insulting its audience, I feel like I've insulted myself by forcing myself to watch the entire movie. I can't even relay the plot because I lost track 1/3 of the way through. It is an utter failure in every measurable way. I've seen a lot of crap films, but there is nothing I've seen that tops this.

    Nukie is ugly. He has snot dripping from his nose. He befriends a talking chimpanzee. He meets the chimp's "cousin," a talking baboon. He can metamorphose into a ball of light. The special effects were surpassed in movies made thirty years earlier.

    Thank god "Nukie" was a failure, or else we might have had to endure Nukie lunchboxes or a Nukie TV show. Even worse, a shrieking Nukie plush toy – "MMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOO!." Oh my god I need a drink, now.
  • Firstly, Nukie looks like ET if he were made of poo. Plus, on the back of the VHS box is a picture of a Tiger. Nowhere in the entire movie is a tiger. I felt cheated! Honestly, I was caught off guard by how AWFUL this movie is. I'm also caught off guard as to how many reviews IMDb has for for NUKIE.

    In regards to movies, I'll watch ANYTHING. I'm actually fond of little know releases. I found Nukie for $1.75 NEW in a Mexican grocery store. How on earth was this movie made? I'm pretty sure it will never be released on DVD. The budget wasn't big but you can tell some money was spent. I'm sure they expected this to be a hit at the theater ( they even trademarked the name Nukie! ). Also, why didn't this movie make the "worst of" lists? It's WORSE than Soultaker and Troll 2. Why was this movie even made? Who funded this? Why!?!?
  • Warning: Spoilers
    If, by grace of God, you were epileptic, Nukie might just trigger a seizure. This would hopefully prevent you from watching the rest of this film. There are certainly enough idiotic lens-flare light effects and crap. I saw "Nukie" as a child; my father had rented it and has since been convicted by the Hague.

    From here on out, I'm not sure I can string together intelligible sentences to describe this film. It consists primarily of a disgusting little alien rushing around the desert, while his brother shrieks NUUUUUKEEEEEE approximately fourteen thousand times. Some kid gets bitten by a snake (cue stock "snake" footage). Nothing makes sense in this film. The snakebite at least limits the number of characters. These people spend their days rushing around shouting things like, "He's an alien made of PURE ENERGY!" Said alien just happens to look a bit like Grandpa, if you turned him inside-out. I can't stop crying. Even if you love campy movies, this one will break you.
  • Wow. That is pretty much all that I can say. For you bad movie lovers out there, this one is possibly the grand-daddy of them all (and yes I have seen Manos the Hands of Fate). Trust me on this one--unless you saw Blair Witch and you know how a movie can actually make you sick, don't rent this film. To be honest with you, I rented this because of the cover: a giant headed, freakishly odd looking alien holding hands with two African kids--that's funny. However, I was soon to learn that the only thing funny about this movie was that a four year old with a hand-held could have done a better job. I don't want to summarize the plot for you, because I'm still not sure what that was. Something about Nukie (an alien) trying to save his brother alien from the evil United States Commodore-64 controlled testing facility. In between can be found talking animals in shorts, stock footage stolen from National Geographic, and all in all, the worst movie I have ever seen. This movie actually made my friend physically sick to his stomach. Frankly, I am sickened to say that man could possibly create such worthless drivel.

    Let me put it this way--See this movie just so you know that in no possible way has your life been even close to a failure; unless you were involved in the making of this film (if you can actually call it a film). Because no matter what you've done in your life, it could never reach the low that this movie has achieved.
  • I pride myself on being a connoisseur of bad movies. I have purposely watched hundreds upon hundreds of terrible movies with my friends, ranging from classics like Manos: The Hands of Fate to foreign 80's conan ripoffs to the contemporary Sci-Fi Channel and Asylum cheese fests. But not even those can prepare you for the abomination that is Nukie. It is, without doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. By worst I do not mean least enjoyable; there are horrifically boring movies that are less enjoyable than Nukie. By worst I mean it causes more pain. To be honest, I can't put into words exactly what that is. There are movies that are more ridiculous. There are movies that have worse costumes. There are movies that have more annoying characters (though perhaps not many). There are even movies with stupider plots. But somehow, by some inexplicable alignment of terribleness, all these things have combined like an evil, mutated Captain Planet into Nukie, which has the power to punch your soul and beat it until you lose all faith in humanity and the universe.

    Nukie is a movie about two alien light beams which inexplicably speak English and crash land on Earth because they are ungodly stupid. Upon landing on earth they transform into hideously disfigured E.T. knockoffs that are, for reasons unknown to anyone who has the slightest claim to humanity, expected to be seen as cute by the audience. One of them is named Nico and is captured by American scientists, who apparently operate out of a low-rent apartment building in Miami. The other is named Nukie, who lands in Africa and is so stupid he never considers just flying over to America even though he has no trouble flying anywhere else. Nukie and Nico spend the first fifteen minutes of the movie yelling each others names back and forth by bouncing their voices off of the moon. Yes, that makes just as much sense written down as it does in the movie. Nico is experimented on by scientists before being helped by a sentient computer who wants to turn scientists into clowns and have disco dance parties in his laboratory. Meanwhile, Nukie tries to convince the African natives to help him get to America by terrorizing them, breaking their things, crashing a helicopter, and causing two little boys to be cast out into the wild. For some reason, this doesn't make them want to help him, so Nukie is forced to wander through stock footage and before befriending a talking monkey who has a fondness for candy and stupidity. Nukie finds the children and celebrates by flying around in the sky, not going to America, and doing a disco dance scene in the African wilderness.

    I have now seen this movie four times, and every time it takes a piece of my soul back to hell with it. There are no words that can adequately describe what viewing this movie does to you. Some have said it is like watching a train wreck, in that you have to keep watching even though it is horrible. It is more like watching the annihilation of humanity. Nukie is nihilism. Nukie saps you of the will to live and leaves you wandering though the void of nothingness, for after seeing it you know in your heart that there cannot possibly be meaning in a universe which contains Nukie. There are some things that happen to you in life that change who you are forever. Nukie is one of those things.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    BTW the above rating is on a "it's so bad it's good" scale.

    I recently watched this movie after reading all the user comments about Nukie. Some of these writeups had me peeing in my pants I was laughing so hard...especially the one guy who said, "I hate God for allowing Nukie to be made". That sold it for me. Call it perverse curiosity, if you will...the same curiosity that drives one to watch such films as Faces of Death or I Spit on Your Grave.

    This movie is certainly atrocious, but I wouldn't say it's totally unwatchable. My friends and I regularly get together to have "Awesomely Bad Movie" viewings and make fun of them in Mystery Science Theater fashion. This one managed to keep the laughs rolling. I mean, a few people walked out of the room when the chimpanzee started talking, but that was perhaps the only lowpoint. The rest is just a pure mindnumbing, jawdropping, "what the f*ck?", knee-slapping good time.

    I would like to comment, though, how much Nukie was pissing me off. He did absolutely NOTHING to help anyone in this movie. He terrifies the villagers by possessing vehicles with his powers, knocks pots and pans all over the place, causes earthquakes. How about when that kid got bit by the snake? Nukie didn't do sh*t about it. Yeah, he put on a good fireworks show, though. Or when him and the kid are travelling by foot for days, and then finally he gets the bright idea to turn them both into balls of light so that they can travel faster. Or what about the very end when they're reunited and then they turn into balls of light and fly off. Why the f*ck didn't they do that in the beginning? I seriously wanted Nukie and his brother to die in this movie. They are such disgusting-looking creatures. That scene where Nukie goes over the waterfall I stood up really excited hoping that he'd get killed. He survived though. Damn.

    My one friend says, "This is absolutely the worst movie I've ever seen. This includes pornos". I want to force Rob Zombie to watch Nukie. I think it's the only thing that can possibly terrify him.
  • Through the years i managed to watch most of the movies in the bottom 50 IMDb and i can only say this, "Nukie" beats them all. This movie makes "Manos - The hands of fate" look like "Citizen Kane" by comparison.

    I am in fact puzzled how someone DARED to actually film this!

    I mean... c'mon people! Didn't you realize what an utter piece of garbage this was when you made it? No words can describe how bad this movie is... it has to be seen to be believed. But make no mistake, encourage you to watch this movie, in fact that is a MUST. How else can you judge other movies if you lack the base standard unit in "retardness" to compare other movies to?
  • Warning: Spoilers
    This is a children's movie, and there is just so much suffering within it!

    The existence of this movie is centered entirely around one mistake: If Meeko never crashed to Earth there wouldn't even be a movie. It's incomprehensible how such a movie which is centered around one giant mistake has multiple mistakes running through it.

    Nukie and Meeko are hideous space aliens, with sinus problems; they are two whiny, manic-depressive, creatures. They both look (and probably smell) like two deformed dwarfs who were dipped in a pool of excrement, and deep fried in a pressure cooker.

    Because I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone but bad movie fans with high tolerance, or an adolescent whose stuck babysitting their younger sibling and looking for retribution, I will explicate the highlights of this movie.

    As you have probably read about the plot elsewhere, Meeko and Nukie are flying around the universe; Meeko lands in Florida and abducted by not-NASA, and Nukie lands in South Africa. Nukie must try to find Meeko.

    Throughout the movie Meeko is literally tortured by doctors, complete with probes in his abdomen. The plot in the first half the movie consists of Meeko SCREAMING back to Nukie for help, and replying to the doctors about how "Tranquilzers kill him". At one point Nukie is almost enjoying himself, when suddenly he's interrupted by his brothers howl " NUUUKIIIEEAAAAGGHHH!!!".

    Nukie, throughout the movie says suicidal things such as: "I wish the Earth would shallow me up, I want to sleep" and " I hate this planet". There's a questionable scene where Nukie awakens by his brothers scream from a covered trench. Did Nukie dig himself a grave? His resurrection causes an earthquake.

    Somehow a tribal Witch Doctor knows Nukie caused the earthquake. Nukie befriends a set of twins from the tribe. They tell him to go to the Witch Doctor to explain hes not a bad-god. Nukie gets the point across by breaking the tribes stuff and paralyzing people. The idiot angers the tribe into sending the twins out into the brush in a trial to see which one will live. Twins are bad luck or something for the tribe, plus the tribe saw them conversing with that hideous, fecal, bad-god, Nukie.

    Nukie tries to console the twins through some out-of-sink dancing. The director and costume designer were complete morons to suggest such a midget could dance inside that suit, it's a wonder they could even move in that suit. The controls for the mouth didn't work, and the eyes blinked at separate times. Another thing, they tried to make Nukie look shorter by elongating the stomach over the thighs; he doesn't look shorter-- he looks like he's carrying a load in them pants!

    Anyways, as the twins are stuck in the brush, one of them gets bitten by a snake, as Nukie runs to help, "The Corporal" fires tranquilizer darts into Nukies hollow crotch bump; thereby promptly rendering Nukie unconscious and causing one of the twins to shriek "You killed my friend!"

    Towards the end-- in search for America, Nukie ends up going down two giant water falls, and yet some how manages to live-- he should have died, really he should have, why not? A twin thinks they found America-- it looks like war-ravaged quagmire. He screams "America help us".(Smart kid, it may not be America, but maybe the cause of it!) Nukie tells him it isn't, suddenly all is lost, but the twin wishes at the stars, and the long-winded tag-line about wishing to stars shows relevance.

    Finally the Movie ends with a soppy end of gleeful tears; the snake bitten twin lives; Nukie reunites with Meeko, and a horrible, foul, ragged monkey LICKS THE SNOT OFF NUKIES FACE! Then, at the butt-of-the-end Nukie, Meeko, and the Monkey morph into things which appear to be three sperm cells flying into outer-space.

    The audience was supposed to cry with joy with the characters, but you probably didn't or won't, because this movie fails on so many levels. Glynnis Johns should be given an Oscar for crying at the end of this movie, what acting-- she was probably crying for her career (sorry).

    In a way I'm saddened that this movie didn't make it big, I would have loved to have seen a Meeko Operation Game which cries for help, or a Nukie plush which mumbles suicidal thoughts!

    This is the biggest failure of all time. Even the moral of the story (the tag-line) is utterly meaningless and useless.
  • This is without doubt the most horrible, wretched movie I've ever seen. I last watched it more than 20 years ago and the pain still eats away at my soul.

    Despite all that, i love it!
  • mike-duffield14 January 2006
    I think everyone on here has summarized it enough. This movie is so bad it is genius!!!!!!!!! I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time and definitely one of the most quotable movies I've seen in recent memory. Everything about this movie is 100% laughable. The only downside about the badness of this movie is that it feels so much longer than it really is. I've watched it three times (in four days) and I've only made it to the end once.

    This is definitely an example of how not to make a film...and I love it.

    I assume everyone who sees this is watching it on VHS, and I also seriously recommend not skipping the previews......GOLDEN. I think I must see The Philadelphia Experiment 2 now.
  • Wonderful science fiction film that gives a nod to E.T. and takes it from there. Little alien Nukie wanders in the wilds of Africa until two children encounter him with delightful results. One of the best things about this motion picture is it's suitability for children of all ages. The enchanting Glynis Johns gives a magical performance as a nun who becomes part of Nukie's earthly posse and Steve Railsback in a rare role where he isn't a very tortured soul simply shines. Filmed in South Africa, the incredible surroundings add to the wonder and enhance the other worldly feel. Imaginatively produced and ingeniously realized, this is science fiction that harks back to the original 1950's classics The Day the Earth Stood Still and Invaders From Mars. Films of that kind, those that teach and inspire, are rare but this is one of them.
  • I rented this film because the cover looked funny. It has this picture of an alien with a huge head. That's funny. Watching the film is horrifying yet somehow beautiful. The acting is miserable, and for some reason none of the characters use contractions when they speak. Nukie is an alien who crashes his ship with his brother Meeko. They get separated, and Meeko gets taken to this place that's supposed to be NASA, which is evidently controlled by Commodore 64 computer consoles, where they inject him with unspecified fluids. Nukie ends up in Africa, and is chased by stock footage of giraffes. A lot of inexplicable things occur. You should probably view this film. Nothing this compellingly atrocious will ever be produced again. In fact, I urge you to purchase "Nukie" for your home video library, and view it daily. You won't enjoy yourself, but you won't be able to deny that your perception of life will undergo important changes.
  • I will stand up and proudly admit that I didn't rent this movie, I bought it, and to date it's the best $1.99 I've ever spent. Well, $11.99 if you count the dime bag, but I digress.

    It's taken me a while to write this review because, as so often happens, I find myself torn: How could one critique Michaelangelo's David or the Mona Lisa. And you heard me right, this film is hands down the Mona Lisa of crap.

    Any experienced cheesy movie watcher is familiar with a phenomenon called "Point Break", the point at which not even the director takes the film seriously any more. This point comes depressingly late in the movie, as it's where Nukie dances by the fire.

    Since I purchased this film, I've viewed it almost monthly and it just keeps getting funnier every time. If you ever happen across Nukie for sale or rent, or even if it's just sitting on the side of the road, pick it up, take it home and get some buds (some friends, too) and I guarantee you won't be sorry.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    This movie is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even the trailer was cringe worthy. The storyline is bad and the storyline is just like E.T.'s storyline. The effects are bad as well. Honestly, I hate this movie so much that I want to forget about it.
  • There are bad movies that are fun because they are bad. This is not one of those movies. Nukie is Devoid of any charm or schlock worthy of viewing for a few cheap laughs. The plot is nonsensical...two aliens flying through space a balls of light crash on earth.....for some reason. One is help hostage by American scientist who I think are supposed to be evil and the other crashes in Africa...for some reason. The rest of the movie revolves around these two aliens trying to reunite. The hijinx that ensue are mind numbing, redundant, and devoid of anything entertaining. It is painful simply painful. The aliens look atrocious, like atrocious Nien Nunb (Star Wars Character...look it up) costume prototypes. Appalling in every aspect this film should only be viewed by a true sadist.
  • I've never thought about writing a review for a film on IMDb, but "Nukie" was the straw that broke the camels back as it easily goes beyond being so bad that it's fun to laugh at as there is nothing to laugh at in this film. Not one thing. Not even a scrap of entertainment can be gleaned from this festering cesspool of film. Yes, it really is that bad.

    Two horrific puppets who look like dried up turds cause mayhem for no reason while speaking fluent English (as can several animals for no explained reason)as they try to find each other and return to space. Not one plot point is explained. Not one background character makes any sense. Plot direction and continuity are flung out of the window as the director tries to ham fist slapstick into the film with talking computers and unfunny monkeys.

    I'd tell some details of the plot but it's thin beyond redemption and seems to alter from minute to minute. At an hour forty long, you feel as if you've been trapped staring into an abyss for days once you are done.

    Rating: -10/10, avoid at all costs.
  • Some bad movies are funny. Some bad movies are so confusing they become a personal challenge to decipher. Some bad movies are so bad they're good. Some bad movies are just pure entertainment. Nukie is none of the above. This is positively the worst movie I have ever seen. The "friend" who lent it to me made me promise I'd watch to the bitter end. Let the world know I endured the entire Nukie (and the ending almost made it worthwhile).

    Nukie is a painful experience. How could this be written? How could this be directed and filmed? I pass this as a warning...every second of this movie is unwatchable. I certainly wouldn't let my kids watch it - they'd get nightmares.

    I don't understand the reviewers here that gave this movie a positive rating, unless maybe they had a copy to dump. This movie doesn't even sell on EBAY when listed for 99 cents. 'Nuff said?
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