Officer Joe Vickers: I hate to kick a man when he's dead, they just don't put up much of a fight!

Officer Joe Vickers: How the hell should I know? What, do I have crystal balls?

Officer Joe Vickers: You have the right to remain dead. Anything you say can and will be considered very strange because you're dead. You have the right to an attorney, but it won't do you any good because you're dead. Do you understand these rights that have just been read to you? Are you even listening? It would be a lot easier if you were a little more cooperative!

Officer Joe Vickers: Suspect is said to be blonde and extremely stupid!

Officer Joe Vickers: If you act like trash, you get treated like trash.

Officer Joe Vickers: I didn't say I was going to let her go. I said I wasn't going to shoot her.

Officer Joe Vickers: I'm beginning to suspect foreplay.

Officer Joe Vickers: One Adam-12, one Adam-12, subject is blonde and considered EXTREMELY fuckin' stupid!

Sharon: Who are these women? Why aren't they dressed?

Larry: They are dressed, they're just dressed scantily!

[after killing a woman at a coffee shop]

Officer Joe Vickers: Good to the last *fuckin'* drop!

Officer Joe Vickers: Seventh floor going up, linens, lingerie... Eviscerated women.