Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Mark Blankfield: Blinkin
Photos
Quotes
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Robin Hood : As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... my friend Ahchoo.
Crowd : A black sheriff?
Blinkin : He's black?
Ahchoo : And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.
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Robin Hood : Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!
Blinkin : I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood : He's dead?
Blinkin : Yes...
Robin Hood : And my mother?
Blinkin : She died of pneumonia while...
[Remembers]
Blinkin : Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood : My brothers?
Blinkin : There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood : My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin : Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood : My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin : Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood : [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin : Choked on the goldfish.
[pause]
Blinkin : Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?
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Robin Hood : Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo.
Blinkin : A Jew? Here?
Robin Hood : No no, not a Jew. Ahchoo.
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Blinkin : Oh Master Robin!
[hugging a replica statue of the Venus de Milo]
Blinkin : You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.
Robin Hood : Blinkin, I'm over here.
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[Blinkin, the blind man, is up in a perch looking out for strangers]
Robin Hood : Blinkin! What are you doing?
Blinkin : Guessing. I guess no one's coming.
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Ahchoo : [after Blinkin catches an arrow] Blinkin! How did you do that?
Blinkin : I heard that coming a mile away.
Robin Hood : Right-o, Blinkin, very good.
Blinkin : Pardon? Who's talking?
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King Richard : [taking Prince John's crown] You are no longer worthy to wear this sacred symbol of authority.
Prince John : Oh, please have mercy on me, brother. It wasn't my fault. I got some really bad advice from Rottingham.
Blinkin , Ahchoo , Scarlet , Little John , Crowd : [coughs] Bullshit! Bullshit!
King Richard : Brother, you have surrounded your given name with a foul stench!
[to the crowd]
King Richard : From this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!
[the crowd cheering]
Prince John : [yelling] NO!
King Richard : Take him away!
[the Merry Men began to grabbing Prince John]
Prince John : No, wait, wait!
King Richard : Put him in the Tower of London! Make him part of the tour.
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Robin Hood : [first meeting Blinkin the blind servant] BLINKIN!
Blinkin : Master Robin, Is that you?
Robin Hood : Yes.
Blinkin : What back from the Crusades?
Robin Hood : Yes.
Blinkin : And alive?
Robin Hood : [pause] yes.
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Rabbi Tuckman : I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.
Merry Men : 'ello Rabbi!
Rabbi Tuckman : Hello boys!
Robin Hood : A moyel. I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.
Rabbi Tuckman : A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.
Scarlet : What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?
Rabbi Tuckman : It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!
Little John : I'll take one!
Ahchoo : Hey, put me down for two!
Robin Hood : I'm game. How's it done?
Rabbi Tuckman : It's a snap.
[demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine]
Rabbi Tuckman : I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...
[releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot]
Rabbi Tuckman : I nip the tip! Who's first?
[groans from the Merry Men]
Little John : I changed me mind!
Ahchoo : I forgot, I already got one.
Blinkin : [puts his hand in the air] Question...
[Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him]
Rabbi Tuckman : I gotta start working with a younger crowd.
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Blinkin : [as Robin fights one of Prince John's knights, Blinkin approaches with a tray of water; Robin doesn't look at the knight and takes a drink] It sounds like we're winning, sire.
Robin Hood : [Finishing his drink] Yes. Very good, Blinkin. Carry on.
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[Villagers begin throwing food at the archery contest]
Blinkin : Oh good, they've opened the salad bar.
