William Porter: We've got a brand new Japanese invention here, we call it pizza.

Eli Porter: Why papa? Why did you have to go and hurt my brother? Family is sacred papa. You know I'd never hurt you. Not even for this.

Joshua: what happened to my father? Back in Gatlin what did you do to him?

Eli Porter: Made sure he'd never hurt you again.

Eli Porter: Let us give thanks to He Who Walks Behind the Rows, who protects our crops and keeps the infidel and unbeliever in the torments of hellfire eternal. Amen.

William Porter: Eli!

Eli Porter: Let the harvest begin!

Eli Porter: With age comes blindness but we who are young have a vision and that is the gift to us from He Who Walks Behind The Rows! Our greatest Harvest is to come!

T-Loc: Harvest this motherfucker!

Eli Porter: Who was Joseph?

T-Loc: Who in hell cares?

[everyone laughs]

Eli Porter: I do.

William Porter: [hears rustling in corn] Hello?

Eli Porter: [jumps out of corn and startles Bill] Boo!

T-Loc: Hey, where you at, butt-head? You in here with me now!

Eli Porter: I'm not in here with you. You're in here... with me.

Father Frank Nolan: Who to hell are you?

Eli Porter: Father as if you didn't know!

Eli Porter: You knew who I was from the moment you set eyes on me and so did my poor foster mother. Certain people can do that Frank, I don't know why.

T-Loc: I wouldn't sit there.

Eli Porter: Why not?

T-Loc: 'Cause I think you gonna try and suck my dick.

Eli Porter: Howdy.

T-Loc: Don't give me that goddamn Gomer Pyle, Howdy Doody bullshit, alright? I'm here to get Dee.

Eli: Can't spare him.

T-Loc: What you gonna do? Preach me to death?

[Eli shoves him and runs]

T-Loc: Hey, come back here you little shit! I'm gonna kick your little ass, doo-dah. Doo-dah.

William Porter: Why should I share this with my employers? I developed the strain.

Charles: Yes I know, but ethically you're still bound...

William Porter: Fuck ethics!

Charles: My, my, my, William. I do believe that is the first time I've ever heard you swear.

Malcolm: Shit! Man, where's the fucking scarecrow?

Maria: This is first base.

[She and Josh kiss]

Maria: And this is second base.

[she lifts Josh's hand to her breast]

Josh: How do I get a home run?

Malcolm: You don't!

Malcolm: Josh, Man, if this ain't good... If this ain't good, Man, I'm gonna kill you.

Josh: It's not good. Get dressed!

[a crow perches on a scarecrow]

Malcolm: You're fired.

[first lines]

Joshua's Abusive Father: Joshua? Joshua? Boy, you're gonna make this some sad night.

[last lines]

Charles: This is just the beginning, Hans. Soon we'll be shipping all over the world.