25 April 2006 | unakaczynski
Watch an alien procrastinate for an hour and a half.
The Hidden II, Science Fiction Horror
The Hidden 2 picks up right where the first left off--and quickly disintegrates into a much worse movie. This film follows a "chunk" of the original bad-ass alien as it infests a dog, then spawns several other tiny evil alien, um, larva. Well, eventually, someone is infested again and the reign of violence almost starts again. I say almost because the alien spends most of his time screwing around accomplishing nothing. Much like the heroes--who are completely forgettable while they forge an awkward love affair and make repeatedly poor decisions hunting the "evil" aliens.
Here's the breakdown:
--Well, more shots of the alien and gore than the first film.
--Slightly better atmosphere than Hidden 1.
Didn't Hurt It, Didn't Help:
--The acting is nothing special, but it doesn't hurt the film too badly.
--Passable music and cinematography.
--Extensive yammering which attempts to explain every little detail about the aliens.
--Very little chemistry between our heroes.
--Main hero guy is pretty nerdy.
--Sure, the alien is shown more, but for f*ck sakes! The special effects should have improved in quality! They still feel like they're mid-80's puppets, here. We have a six-legged alien "thing" that we get to see moving around and what does it look like? A shaved, partially mutilated dead rat in rigor mortis. The legs barely move!
--Insipid love story.
--Clumsey, infantile hero.
--The evil alien spends very little time doing anything. Mostly walking around talking like an idiot.
--Several story problems--for one: There are several evil alien larva sitting unprotected which are just not killed--they're deliberately ignored or the search for them is just done immensely poorly. This alien good guy travelled all through space to do a half-assed job, did he? Well, that's what he's doing. It'll take literally a minute or two to kill the remaining sleeping larva after he kills just one. So what does he do? "I'm tired, let's go," basically. And he leaves! Three times he does this! This is the most procrastinating alien I've ever seen!
--Most of the "we're lovers now" dialog.
--At least 2 sex scenes with zero nudity. An R-rated horror film with sex and no nudity? What the hell?
--Seeing the credits start.
Acting: 5/10 , Story: 6/10 , Atmosphere: 7/10 , Cinematography: 5/10 , Character Development: 4/10 , Special Effects/Make-up: 6/10 , Nudity/Sexuality: 1/10 , Violence/Gore: 6/10 (less violence, more gore than the first film) , Sets/Backgrounds: 4/10 , Dialogue: 5/10 , Music: 6/10 , Writing: 3/10 , Direction: 3/10
Cheesiness: 6/10 , Crappiness: 5/10
Well, there you have it. The first Hidden is a pretty good film, just light on the gore and a pretty weak overall atmosphere. This one, however, is weak in everything except atmosphere and gore--and those are only slightly better. If you can get the first movie alone, go for it. Classic 80's science fiction horror--with a touch of cop drama. The second is forgettable--best to just avoid this one.