Priscilla Presley: Jane Spencer
Photos
Quotes
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Jane Spencer : [at marriage counselling] You came highly recommended by our last therapist.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Yes, I was sorry to hear about his suicide.
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Frank Drebin : Jane...
Jane Spencer : Frank, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Frank Drebin : Yes! Florence Henderson's gonna win it, and it's about time.
Jane Spencer : No! The bomb is in one of those envelopes!
Frank Drebin : You're right!
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[Jane catches Frank kissing Tanya]
Jane Spencer : How could you!
Tanya Peters : Well, you just shove your tongue as far down his throat as you can.
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Jane Spencer : Now I know why Ed's been calling every half hour. You've been back on a case, haven't you?
Frank Drebin : No, no, I swear, it's another woman.
Jane Spencer : In your wildest dreams.
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Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : You know, I feel it's important to get off on the right foot and not get caught up in blame. Now, which one of you is impotent?
Jane Spencer : Uh, that would be him.
Frank Drebin : Why don't you ask who's frigid?
Jane Spencer : Uh, that would be him also.
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Rocco Dillon : Any last words before I throw you off?
Jane Spencer : Yes. Don't do it.
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Frank Drebin : Let's look at this logically. You're the psychotic. You should have the envelope. I should have the gun.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : I know what I'm doing.
[as he and Rocco trade, the cops, everyone in the control room, and the audience all facepalm]
Rocco Dillon : All right! Here's your best picture! In front of the whole worldwide audience, this place is going up!
Ed Hocken : Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy.
[he grabs the woman next to him and kisses her]
Frank Drebin : Wait a minute, Rocco. Before we're all blown to bits, mind if I pull the underwear out of my crack? A man's got to go comfortable.
Rocco Dillon : All right. But that's it.
Frank Drebin : [feigning bending over, he knocks the bomb out of Rocco's hand] All right, give it up, Rocco. You're history.
Rocco Dillon : [pointing behind him] Look, George Hamilton!
[as Frank turns to look, Rocco takes the gun away]
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Rocco Dillon : Pull out the bomb, Drebin. If you don't, I'll shoot the dame.
Frank Drebin : All right, Rocco. All right. I'll do what you say.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : Just don't harm her.
Jane Spencer : Frank, if you pull out the bomb, you'll kill me anyway, and everyone else in this theater.
Frank Drebin : Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
Rocco Dillon : Then I'll plug her.
Frank Drebin : You shoot her, and I'll empty this envelope.
Jane Spencer : Frank, think about it.
Frank Drebin : It's all right. You'll be dead.
Jane Spencer : Then you'll kill yourself and everyone here.
Frank Drebin : Yeah.
Rocco Dillon : Then I'll shoot you, Drebin, if you don't do as I say.
Frank Drebin : Jane?
Jane Spencer : I'd be safe, so would everyone else, but you'd be dead.
Frank Drebin : This is getting a little complicated, Rocco.
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Jane Spencer : He has no idea what a woman wants or needs. You're so insensitive.
Frank Drebin : This isn't that the toilet seat thing again, is it?
Jane Spencer : It's babies, Frank! I want to have a baby. And every time we start to make love, you have a headache.
Frank Drebin : I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying. I've got ointments, lotions, creams, books, things that vibrate.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : Well, maybe it's your fault.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Have you tried sexy lingerie? Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
Frank Drebin : I've worn them all. They don't work.
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Jane Spencer : Why don't you want a child?
Frank Drebin : Didn't I try to adopt that 18-year-old Korean girl?
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Jane Spencer : There's no such thing as the wrong man. You just have to work at it.
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Jane Spencer : Oh, honey, it's just that I love you so much.
Frank Drebin : My little lover sparrow.
Jane Spencer : My puppy-wuppy wover.
Frank Drebin : My little love biscuit.
Jane Spencer : My little shnooky-wookums.
Frank Drebin : My little lady cheesy puppy.
Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Mr and Mrs Drebin, please. I'm diabetic. I think you two ought to go now.
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Dr. Stuart Eisendrath : Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest. Make tonight a *special* night. Dinner, wine, romantic music. Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis station. Just be Jane and Frank - lovers.
Jane Spencer : We haven't had a night like that in a long time.
Frank Drebin : Not together.
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Jane Spencer : Louise, you're witnessing the beginning of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin. No more little Miss Perky, devoting her life to one man. I'm out for the new me. Let's burn rubber.
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Jane Spencer : Honey, I've been waiting all day. I'm wearing the nightgown you bought me for our honeymoon. Tonight's going to be a special night. I'm going to make love to you for hours and hours. Wouldn't Mr Happy like that?
Frank Drebin : Hours?
Jane Spencer : Just like we did the first time we were together.
Frank Drebin : Jane, why don't I get ready and soak in the tub for a couple of days? Possibly a week.
Jane Spencer : Oh, you're so cute. Let me go get the oysters and clams.
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Frank Drebin : Well, listen to you.
Jane Spencer : Listen to you.
Frank Drebin : *Listen* to you.
Jane Spencer : *Listen* to you.
Frank Drebin : Listen to you.
Jane Spencer : Listen to you!
Frank Drebin : Listen to you!
