27 September 2001 | mightywillg
cheap thrills, no frills, good gags!
Some films you know are pretty bad, but you can't help liking, even loving in some small, affectatious kind of way. Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 (or the even more stupid sounding 'virgin hunters' as it's known in my backwards homeland) is, in a nutshell, juvenile. It rivals the Porky's films (and even it's army of even shallower imitators)for it's juvenile attitude to sex and the whole man-woman thing, but has a few aces up it's sleeve.
Firstly the sci-fi twist helps; starting in the nearish future in a world where corporations have taken over from governments and, for reasons never adequetly explained, sex has been banned. This is all thanks to "an uptight bitch named Camella Swales" played by one Morgan Fairchild (how in Jesus's name she got hooked into doing this one will never know), so a group of freedom fighters inspired by a rebellious high-school lecturer, played by the always enjoyable Ian Abercrombie (who later played one of Elaine's bosses in Sienfeld!), decide to go back in time Arnie style and kick Morgan's ass!
The only thing that slows this film down are the frequent soft-core fantasy sex sequences. (The only decent one is in the first five minutes with the utterly gorgeous Sarah Suzzane Brown, who's also likeable as the heroine.) Best to fast-forward through these utterly un-erotic affairs and get back to what this film does best - being funny. There's a good spoof of Arnold Schwarzawhatever (an actor who in my opinion can never be rediculed enough) in a terminator-style character sent to get the time-travelling teens, but who eventually steals Ms Fairchilds heart with his cybernetic man-love. And there's plenty of other gags and nice little touches worth seeing it for - just don't spend more than a few bucks on it, ok?