Old Wen: Old Chu, do'nt get upset. Girls eventually leave home. It was bound to happen.

Chu: I'm not upset. I hope they all move out, so I can have a quiet life.

Old Wen: Quiet life? I know you. What you want, you can't get. What you don't want, you can't get rid of. You're as repressed as a turtle. That old maid of yours, Jia-Jen, will stick to you for life unless you marry her off!

Chu: Marry who? Since she lost her asshole college boyfriend she's never looked at another man. You know that.

Old Wen: And now she has the perfect boyfriend: Jesus Christ.

Chu: Don't make fun of her religion! How is it that for 30 years I have put up this kind of talk from you?

Old Wen: The truth is, you should be thankful someone's around to tell the truth.

Chu: Eat, drink, man, woman. Basic human desires. Can't avoid them. All my life, that's all Iv'e ever done. It pisses me off. Is that all their is to life?

Chu: Raising daughters is like cooking a meal. You lose your appetite by the time you're finished.

Chu: Life should not be like cooking: you need to wait until all ingredients are prepared.

Chu: I don't understand any of them, and I don't want to know. Let them grow up and leave. It's like cooking. Your appetite's gone when the dish is done.

Old Wen: That's not the worst thing. At least people like your cooking.

Chu: Honestly, Id' have to give that up if it hadn't been for you lately. My sense of taste is getting worse and worse. My food is only as good as the expression on your face.

Old Wen: Don't be silly. You rely on your feelings when you cook, not your taste buds. Like that Western deaf composer, called Bee...

Chu: Beethoven.

Old Wen: That's right, Beethoven. Good sound is not in the ear, good taste is not in the mouth...and good sex...


Old Wen: God knows where!

Chu: You're drunk!

Chu: Men die for money, birds die for food. It's not worth dying for food for a man.

Jia-Jen: [after an errant volleyball interrupts a boring lecture] Who will return the ball?

Class: I'll go!

Jia-Jen: Very well, then I'll do it.

Chu: These past two days, I... something wrong?

Jia-Chien: No, it's fine. Nothing.

[Jia-Chien makes a face from the soup]

Chu: Say it!

Jia-Chien: The ham was oversmoked.

Jia-Ning: It's fine.

Jia-Jen: Father probably forgot to taste it.

Jia-Chien: Or his taste is getting worse.

Chu: My taste is fine!

Chu: Jia-Chien, your soup...

Jia-Chien: What's wrong with my soup?

Chu: Your soup... I've tasted your soup