Baywatch Nights (1995–1997)

I am currently greatly disappointed by BAYWATCH NIGHTS. Imported from Amazon through a greedy, greedy shark that took a chunk out of me, and... Well, I knew David Hasselhoff is just too much and Gregalan Williams I won't even mention (king of the dorks?), but really, I've watched eight episodes so far, and the sex appeal is almost non-existent. Only the first episode, Pursuit, was worthy of being associated with BAYWATCH. Plus it's a really low-grade DVD with very weak graphics - I have those two with the dreary dark covers, not an inspiring sight to begin with. Avoid them. I have no idea if the even-more-expensive option available on Amazon has better resolution, but drivel in better resolution would remain just drivel.

It's more than enough that David Hasselhoff is in BAYWATCH. Allowing this poor excuse for a leading man into yet another series is a crime worthy of heinous torture, such as being forced to watch endless repeats of this drivel.

Lisa Stahl was cute in BAYWATCH, she is an all- time failure in BAYWATCH NIGHTS. She totally lost her sparkle. I can't quite make my mind up about Ryan McBride (Angie Harmon); she is at the very least the best part of the show, the only salvageable item, but I am not too fond of her either. Pretty soon I'll reach the Donna D'Errico episodes, but there's clearly not going to be any real magic in this show.

Amazon should reduce their price for this series considerably in the name of providing better value for money. It's worth about less than a tenth of their asking price.

ADDENDUM 20 June 2014. Watched the episode starting the new era of the First Season tonight, "Takeover" (coincidentally very aptly named), and Donna D'Errico graced my screen. Wow! New life breathed into a failing show. The episode was brighter, and I'm raising my score from 2 to 3. Pity this happened years and years ago, I'd have loved to send them a telegram (that long ago?) of congratulations!

By the way, last week I saw that messy tenth episode "Kind of a Drag". Storyline was absolutely ridiculous junk, but that girl in the underwater sequence, the bikini lovely, oh wow! How could they have NOT focused on her and instead opted for that drivel, a plethora of drag queens, David included? For shame!

But tonight, the outlook for the rest of the series looks much better.

ADDENDUM 13 October 2014. Finished watching Season 1 some weeks ago. The series did get more popular with me. So stick with it, just get past that dry spell. Be warned that this show is mostly aimed at schoolboys, I'd say. The kind of 'frights' and levels of suspense might affect toddlers, but the beauty of the actresses is what it is about for me. Season Two at ELectricLadyLand scheduled for South African Winter 2015.

ADDENDUM, 30 September 2015. Season 2 is very, very bad. What were these people thinking? Donna D'Errico mostly not there, not likely because of her limited acting abilities, because David cannot act for licking out old toffee wrappers, and he mugs it up the whole freaking, embarrassing time. Must have laughed all the way to the bank with his double income from the added show. Angie Harmon tries her damnedest best, but nothing can save this hokey junk. Some episodes are beneath contempt, like "Frozen Out Of Time", which scraped the very bottom of the lowly barrel. Still recovering from the corniness of "The Servant" as I sit here, I have yet to watch the rest, but there is very little hope. Though "Circle of Fear" did meet my approval, and brought a spark of hope early on in the season, see my separate review for that episode. One winner, of course, only proves that they COULD HAVE DONE BETTER THROUGHOUT.

Three stars, all for Angie Harmon, without her, like the name of that Brett Easton Ellis novel-turned- movie, LESS THAN ZERO. Donna might have been worth an extra star, but typically of BAYWATCH stars, she's AWOL almost always, and if not, kept on the sideline of the script.

Give this one a miss. BAYWATCH fans hungry for beach bodies will in any case be sorely disappointed. Even more so in Season 2, which is worse than pathetic, especially by 1996 standards. This is a series that should never have existed, Angie Harmon's time was just wasted, and what's seen of Donna D'Errico belonged on BAYWATCH. As for David, hammy old David, pack him up in an airplane, and toss him out over Germany. They'd lap him up. And keep him there. And spare us his dumb presence! Take the other unmentioned lot along too, they are beyond hopeless. Meanwhile, cast Donna in a part where she gets to be tickled silly while trying to hide coyly behind only the three stars I've given this undeserving drivel. :) yeah baby