High Society (1995–1996)

Jayne Meadows: Alice Morgan

Quotes 

• Dot : Oh, it's you, Mother.

  Alice : No, dear, it's Madonna. Late 30s are hard on Italian women.

• Dot : You know, Mother, it's good to see that age hasn't slowed down your sarcasm, regardless of what it's done to your body.

  Alice : If I were a vain woman, I'd resent you for that. Fortunately for me, I'm a spiteful one!

• Dot : Oh, hello mother. What do you want?

  Alice : A time machine set for the night you were conceived and any form of birth control!

• Dot : What's the matter, mother, wake up on the wrong side of the bedpan?

  Alice : Oh, good one! Kiss your mother.

  Dot : Gladly. Can you track her down, though?

• Brendan : Is that real fur you're wearing?

  Alice : Relax! They died of cancer!